I was at the gym this morning and just thinking that its unfair that if I want to be with this man then Ihave to give up my sex life. So I thought I should just hold my hands up and say fine if this is the way it is then I will live with it, BUT he has to give something up in return...now I wonder what that could be...how about his season ticket to football and never watching it again...fair trade I think.
Hey Peanut, I'm not sure how serious you were about this, but this topic has come up before on this board, and recently (although, for the life of me, I can't remember who's thread it was). It went something like this: your spouse asks you to do x, y, and z. You say, I'd be happy to do that if you'd agree to ML with me once a week (or whatever). Not sure if anyone actually tried this. It seems to me that it's like bargaining for sex, which I don't think is right, unless it's done somewhat playfully in the context of an already healthy sex life.
I don't think it's a great way to address the underlying problems, but, as I've said to such ideas before, "hey, give it a shot. What're they going to do, cut you off?"
Hairdog, who's been cut off so long, he feels like John Bobbit.
If you do most of the cooking and/or cleaning perhaps he can give up food or a clean house if you have to give up sex.
"If you can't express your appreciation of me sexually then it makes me uninspired to make supper for you." Food. Sex. Love. Sounds like the perfect triangle.
The trouble with most LD spouses is that they don't care, let alone try.
Aw yes, now I remember. It was when I got around to getting the downstairs phone fixed, called my W, and she said, "great, now what about the ceiling fan?" Someone suggested a quid pro quo.
Or, if you prefer, tit for tat.
Yes, I know if I gave her the ultimatum, she would just take care of the ceiling fan herself. As she has taken care of her laundry and cooking which I used to do.
Hairdog - still with a non-functioning ceiling fan.
I think all that will build will be resentment on both sides of the fence. You will still be mad about sex and he will be mad about football. Then that will lead to even more gridlock and who knows after that. I really think you need to tell him to get sh!t or get off the pot and actually follow through with what ever.
