an automatic transmission??? ::face turns blue, limbs shiver, goes into cardiac arrest for a second, recovers, but barely::
::climbs upon soap-box conveniently found in corner of forum space::
I THINK ALL THOSE GASS-GUZZLING AIR-POLLUTING TRUCKS AND SUVS ARE CRAP, usually completely superfluous, and will probably contribute to the advent of a new Ice Age any time now. They should be OUTLAWED, unless the person needs it for work or can prove that he lives in a State that has more than one snowflake in any given year.
:: climbs off soap box, winks at Betsey, and leaves Forum space, whistling ::
Ups - I just realized I forgot to say "welcome, Abbie", and great that you decided to trade lurkdom for active posting. As a former lurker, I can relate that this is a big step! Good to have you here.
...which I happen to agree with. But once we've gotten to the point that we're hating the sin but loving the sinner, and are slapping ourselves on the shoulder for being such capital fellows (or gals) and having progressed so far on our spiritual journey, we need to remember his view on pride:
Thanks Pattie, But I need a lot more than that. It felt good though. I have not been this down since W left. I know it's over now. i can't stop crying.
Quote: thank you for coming out of hiding to share with us your wisdom
Hi Kewlkitti,
No wisdom here, only a thorough knowledge of my own limitations. But thanks for the kind words. If you’re Christian and haven’t read CS Lewis’ works, I highly recommend them.
“Mere Christianity” or “The Screwtape Letters” are addictive reads to start with. Then there’s “The Great Divorce”, which is not about the dissolution of a human marriage, but about the divide between Heaven and Hell, and a wanderer who attempts to make the crossing.
“Screwtape” works under the amusing premise of a master fiend, Screwtape, writing to an apprentice devil, who goes by the name of Wormwood, on how to incite humans away from the path of righteousness. You see, each apprentice devil is assigned to a specific human “patient” he has to work with, and the uncle is regaling the youngster with "good" advice. Here’s an excerpt from the first Letter:
My dear Wormwood,
I note what you say about guiding your patient's reading and taking care that he sees a good deal of his materialist friend. But are you not being a trifle naif? It sounds as if you supposed that argument was the way to keep him out of the Enemy's clutches. That might have been so if he had lived a few centuries earlier. At that time the humans still knew pretty well when a thing was proved and when it was not; and if it was proved they really believed it. They still connected thinking with doing and were prepared to alter their way of life as the result of a chain of reasoning. But what with the weekly press and other such weapons, we have largely altered that. Your man has been accustomed, ever since he was a boy, to having a dozen incompatible philosophies dancing about together inside his head. He doesn't think of doctrines as primarily "true" or "false," but as "academic" or "practical," "outworn" or "contemporary," "conventional" or "ruthless." Jargon, not argument, is your best ally in keeping him from the Church. Don't waste time trying to make him think that materialism is true! Make him think it is strong or stark or courageous — that it is the philosophy of the future. That's the sort of thing he cares about. [..]
Remember, he is not, like you, a pure spirit. Never having been a human (oh, that abominable advantage of the Enemy's!) you don't realise how enslaved they are to the pressure of the ordinary. I once had a patient, a sound atheist, who used to read in the British Museum. One day, as he sat reading, I saw a train of thought in his mind beginning to go the wrong way. The Enemy, of course, was at his elbow in a moment. Before I knew where I was I saw my twenty years' work beginning to totter. If I had lost my head and begun to attempt a defence by argument, I should have been undone. But I was not such a fool. I struck instantly at the part of the man which I had best under my control, and suggested that it was just about time he had some lunch.
The Enemy presumably made the counter-suggestion (you know how one can never quite overhear what He says to them?) that this was more important than lunch. At least I think that must have been His line, for when I said, "Quite. In fact much too important to tackle at the end of a morning," the patient brightened up considerably; and by the time I had added "Much better come back after lunch and go into it with a fresh mind," he was already halfway to the door. Once he was in the street the battle was won. I showed him a newsboy shouting the midday paper, and a No. 73 bus going past, and before he reached the bottom of the steps I had got into him an unalterable conviction that, whatever odd ideas might come into a man's head when he was shut up alone with his books, a healthy dose of "real life" (by which he meant the bus and the newsboy) was enough to show him that all "that sort of thing" just couldn't be true. He knew he'd had a narrow escape, and in later years was fond of talking about "that inarticulate sense for actuality which is our ultimate safe guard against the aberrations of mere logic." He is now safe in Our Father's house.
Thank you for the CS Lewis reference. I would also recommend A Grief Observed which I quoted a bit on my thread. It is the only book of his I have read (so far) but have the others you recommended on my night stand and FINALLY some time to read them!!
Also, thank you for your honesty. You are at once difficult and wonderful to read... difficult in that your reality is my horror since my H continues to live with OW, but, you have been very helpful to me in your posts about what the WA must feel.
Thank you.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Assuming the WA feels as described here (or in my case not assuming, since mine has confirmed most of this at one point or another), why might they act much the same way after making "a decision" as all the time they were "on the fence"? And if they've made this decision to have you out of their life, what is this bit about hoping you can be their friend while they begin their new life with OW (who they never, ever mention in your presence)? Are they serious with this stuff?
Pam, would really love for you to elaborate on not being the safety net. How so? And is offering friendship a safety net of sorts?
and great that you decided to trade lurkdom for active posting. As a former lurker, I can relate that this is a big step! Good to have you here. 