Hello all!!! Just thought I'd drop in real quick here and say hello to all my BB bros and sisters that are still fighting the good fight.
It's been 'good' for me to take a break from the board and concentrate on daily living as it's kept me moving forward and positive.
I'm as busy as a one armed paper hanger so my 'puter' time has become very limited for the purpose of 'fun' anyway.
My life with my H is better than it's been in many years. We are continuing to rediscover each other on a far more mature and solid basis than we ever have in all our years together. This "time around" it's not, infatuation and unrealistic expectations...it's wide eyed and cautious and wonderfully open and honest. It's much like really getting to know each other warts and all, unlike the way we 'choose' to see each other when our R was originally developed, many, many years ago.
It IS TRUE, that the second time around with our spouses CAN be better than the first.
I know one thing for SURE, I have NEVER been more content with who I AM at any other time in my life. I like me and I don't have to prove my 'loveabilty' or "worthiness" to anyone any more, because I like ME just the way I am. Love 2 All, T2
It is so awesome to hear that some relationships turn around so strongly!!! I always believed that is a possibility if you want to work at it! DBing is GREAT!!!!
Sometimes the OW loses!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
T2, Good to see you drop by! And thanks for the e-mail!
Hearing that things are better than before; is all our hopes here. Some of us don't get the chance, but most do!
I'd say most OW think they have won and don't. I didn't want to step on anyones' toes here just in case you are an OW. but the percentages are against the OW's. That is just a fact.
I'm glad my buddy is happy with her new life. Glad to hear that things are settling down. We love when people come back and post, to let us know that DBing really works! Makes me feel hope is out there and I should get out of the "dark" and start DBing again!
I want everyone to know this woman has been tons of help to me! And even though all of us stubble at one point and we'd love to throw in the towel, she didn't! She kept trying different techniques, until she found the one that worked for her and her sitch.
Sometimes I think we need to quite doing what DOES NOT work. Just because we get stuck and don't want to crawl out of our comfort zone. I get stuck, go back to doing the same old crap and wonder why things are not moving forward like I want!
Sometimes we need to go back to the DR book and threads that sg and JJ have set up here on the BB. They are there for a reason. I've been here a year and stumble back to those older threads to find some solutions for what did work and what I need to do.
This is not a one size fits all. You have to moniter the results and if they don't work try something different. If things aren't working more than likely you are doing "more of the same". But on the otherhand, doing something that your S knows you would never do, they won't believe it, so you must either keep doing it or decide to try something else. Someone said they think we are just playing games. I don't think so, I call it solutions.
HEY T2! So glad to hear from you. You were such an inspiration to me - and because of your example and wisdom (and those of many others) I am now in the beginning stages of rebuilding a M with a H that finally admits he wants to be with me. Thank you, and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I am so glad to hear that all is well with you and your H! Thanks in part to your encouragement, my H is home and we are also on our way to building a new future!
Please stop in more often and share your pearls of wisdom. I feel like I still need help in navigating this new R!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
so glad to hear of your update - i cannot even fathom that this post came from the exact same person to whom i met on this board about a year ago - oh how much things can change in the spanse of a year
good for you my sweet - things have turned around cause you db'd the person that needed it the most, yourself - that is the only time when you can possibly win - when one learns that they cannot control the outcome of the sitch, nor the other person, then one has success - you are a great example of that
thank you so much for being who you are and carrying me thru the hard times
I also remember a year ago when you all first joined! I joined on the 6th a year ago!
I have seen so many M's saved on here! I'm so happy for all of you!
And when kitti came back from the VB weekend she said something that has been sticking in my head~"DBing works".
So KK, I'm going to still DB and no matter what, I'm sure by DBing my H and I will still be conecting even if it is in friendship. So I'm back in the saddle again, this time just focussing on a friendship and building that.
