The move has been accomplished. It was tiring yet eventful. In the process, I discovered an UNUSED box of condoms in h's sock drawer and a gal called wanting to know if h could come hang out with her.
I talked to him about it....he said he'd had them (condoms) so long he'd forgotten they were there ( he looked surprised when I said I found them). And that by us moving into together it he was committing to us and was not seeing someone else anymore nor was he sleeping with anyone else. He said don't freak out. He answered all my questions about the girl on his phone too. Said she called a couple of times but he didn't return her call. I said well why is she on your cell phone? He said so he can tell who it is when she comes up on the caller id. Oh , I said she has your cell #? He said well now that I think about it no she does not (so maybe I'll erase it for him?). I asked why he had kept her voicemail since she didn't leave a phone number there....he gave some reason like well I'm trying to program her into the house phone..
I was cool, didn't accuse. Started conversation by saying well I know we've been separated for 19 months and you have been dating, not waiting on me. I'm needing to see if we are on the same page now because of a couple of things that happened to me today. He said what could have happened to you today? I said i found some condoms. He said you did? I said yeah I know it's not like we need them! I asked how long have they been there? He said whew, I don't know probably a while since I've forgotten about them. Oh, I say. We go into the apartment.
In the closet as he hangs clothes, I say I know that now that we've moved into together that there will be some relationships from the past that may not know we are back together. I say who is 'other woman's name'? He takes a deep breath and turns around says just a girl I know. I say yes I gathered that but from where? He says around. I say yeah but where? He says she's from the time I knew 'this other woman's name'. I say so you run into her where at some store, work? He says no just at here and there like at walmart. I say does she know you are married. He says yes. I say yeah but maybe she knows you as married but soon to be divorced still...have you told her we are moving into together? He says no. I say well I'm sure there will be other gals wondering about you and your status...how will you handle them? He says he'll let them know. I say well I'm not accusing you but I do want to make certain that you are as committed to this marriage as I am. He says well doesn't moving in together show that? I say I want you to promise you won't have an affair. He says I won't have an affair. I say no promise and he does. I say I'm just so scared right now, I'm not accusing you of having an affair I just want to get your reassurance. He says don't freak out, he's not interested in that girl.
So that was it. I feel ok, he reassured me, talked about it. I did say that I'm sure there will be women calling on the home line so was there anyone else I needed to be made aware of...he said no.
What do you think? Did I do ok? I wasn't mad, nor accusatory, but I was determined to have all my questions answered and put to rest. I tried with the condoms and with the gal's phone call to get him to empathize by asking how he would feel if he'd found some condoms in my purse, or if the og was calling the house leaving me those type of messages? How would he feel, and he'd respond with suspicion, distrust and I'd then say well then you understand where I'm coming from now. I said do you think it is appropriate for us to meet members of the opposite sex alone? What would you say if I took time from my day to meet the og just he and I hanging out? Is that appropriate as a married person? He said I suppose not. So I said you do understand then what I'm saying.
Though he was very tired he did take the time to talk to me. He was very affectionate later, cuddled with me for a long, long time. So i guess all is well.
Well h called today just to ask what I was up to, told me about his day, what he was doing right then.
He was very busy today cleaning up the old apartment, buying stuff for the new apartment. I told him well you were a regular tornado, you did awesome! Now I can come home sit on my a$$? He said I suppose. I said good cause I'm a mass of bruises. H said well I only got rug burns on my knees from us breaking in our new apartment !
