What do you do when the OM's wife keeps calling for support? My W told him she was going to work on her marriage. W and I are moving and OM is acting like a baby. He is blaming everyone but himself for the pain he is going through. Now my W is struggling with the line of communication from their end of the spectrum even though she said that it was okay for OM's W to call. Do I stop? Therapist says that I have trouble making decisions. Well, I'm just trying to help this woman through a tough time. I don't want OM to leave his W because this may make my wife leave me for him. It is very, very, unlikely. W and I have been packing to move back to her parents over 400 miles away. I know that it isn't going to be easy for her to get over OM but I really feel she is trying. I do need to stop bringing up OM and his W's problems though because it stresses my W out. She even called OM's cell to leave a message that he needs to grow up and be at least human to his wife since his kids see this and it is a problem. I have told OM W that she needs to get DBing right now and work on herself. If he is going to be an infantile jackass, she can't control that. She needs to get away from him. Plus her calling me seems to be bothering her. I think that it is almost a cheeseless tunnel kind of thing. So I am going to probably have to let her work on it on her own. It is going to be hard, but in two weeks we are OUT OF HERE!!! NO more OM, and W and I can start working on making our relationship healthy again. I feel W and I are so close to making this work. I need to stop bringing up OM and his W and the affair, not that I bring it up for guilt purposes, but I know she is trying to get over it and that makes it harder. She goes back to work tomorrow and has said that she is not going to hunt him down to talk to him, but I fear he may hunt her down. I don't think I have to worry, but god only knows on this rollercoaster. She may come home tomorrow and threaten to leave me again. She has reassured me many times that this is not going to happen. Gotta stop worrying about her and him though right? Anyone out there want to take this one?
of course you've gotta stop the worry and the support to om and his wife. who cares what happens between them..they didn't care what happend between you and your w. Any and all communication with either of them by either of you is simply making the healing process take longer and longer. for all parties involved.
so then if in the next two weeks you get another call from om's w..simply let her know that you feel for her but cannot speak to her anymore as it is starting to effect your own m.
I am only very new to this but hey, we are friends with the OW and H, and I have kept well clear of them. Perhaps if you feel really badly for her I would suggest that you tell her to get hold of Micheles book "Divorce Remedy" I think that is what I will do once this hopefully blows over. In my case of would give it to the H of the OW. Dont know if this helps but you only have two weeks to hang in there, thats definately a bright side. My OW only lives 2km away, and that is so hard, and there is no way I am moving - I am too close to my elderly parents here. Good luck Creed. I am glad to here you are making a fresh start.
We may be on our way to the promissed land. Well, we are moving back to her parents farm. Today went pretty well I guess. She didn't talk to OM at all. Of course, OM's W and I have been in very close contact hoping they stay apart. I guess OM has shown signs of finding out how to improve his relationship habits. Wife has been a little edgy today. I did talk to her a little about rumors of sex between her and other man. It hurts so bad to think that they did it, but if they hadn't they would have snuck around until I left her and then two marriages would have been broken up. If all this works out it could be a Double Divorce Busting. The hardest thing now is waiting for her to get over OM. I imagine, my work has just begun. What a battle it has been. Although I am still waiting for these two weeks to get over so we can GET OUT OF HERE!!! I can't believe that through all the pain OM put her through that she hasn't realized how good a guy I am for staying around and not giving up. God why can't these selfish people see the pain that they put us through! I know, I did some wrong, but God knows I am a moral and good person. Pray for me and I will keep praying for you all. Of course ANY advice will be welcome.
