I have been posting in the infidelity forum, Kitkat has suggested mentioned that you are, or have been in a similar sitch as me, perhaps if you have time, you could read over what's been happening in my R and give me some advice or insight using your experiences. I would really appreciate it. here is my sitch my rollercoaster ride
also, if you could post links to your threads, I could read them as well.
Hi there - looks like you may have to set up a second home here in piecing - quite a few of us share similar sitches. Here are the most recent threads for BnB:
thanks for helping, I read the links and I see myself following the same path. The only difference is that I think I am moving at a faster pace because we still live together. Everyday he makes the comment that we are separated now, yet continues to ML, sleep in our bed, cuddle, shower and hug on the couch etc....
The OW is started to pressure him about living at home and the time he spends with me. He hasn't told me he is ready to try again, he is still obsessed with her, but they are fighting a lot over the past few weeks.
It really helps to see that I am not the only one going through this. I am currently experiencing many of the same emotions - feeling like OW is priority, I am second choice, but I don't feel cheap when we ML cause that means he is with me instead of her, he always initiates it, although I am starting to flirt more.
I too want to push him to make a decision, but I know that I can't, that he is not ready to let go of her yet. I am scared that he will never make a decision until he is forced to. I was planning on waiting another 2 months until questioning him, but I don't know if I will go through with it. How long am I to live in limbo? He dropped the bomb in Jan 04, started seeing OW in Feb 04, I found out in Mar 04, we separated (but still live together) in April 04.
Hi L4E - Patience, patience, patience. How long should yo give it - well, I learned NOT to set time limits, but to focus on my own feelings, priorities and be prepared to act/decide if and when things seem to absolutely go in the opposite direction.
Quote: The OW is started to pressure him about living at home and the time he spends with me. He hasn't told me he is ready to try again, he is still obsessed with her, but they are fighting a lot over the past few weeks.
It is important that YOU remain the most attractive life partner. It means continuing to make him feel GOOD about himself when he is with you. Flirting is good. Space is good. Letting him know you are interested, and WANT (not NEED) him. Slowly
I just saw your thread and sorry for not responding earlier.
Thanks also slowly for posting my previous links. You've done a wonderful job for me.
Love, I will check your thread and will give response. It may take a while so bear with me kay. but I have to caution you I am not very good with advice. I dont post much advise around the BB, I prefer to lurk and learn from other peoples' posts. Nevertheless I will try.
In the meantime, I agree with slowly that we cant put a time limit on this. I've put time limit on myself twice, at the end of six month mark and eight month mark and both 'deadlines' have passed yet I still am not ready to give H the ultimatum or do the after last resort. As you can see things are moving reaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyy slowly for me with lots of backslides. I am still having backslides now. Just when I thought I am saying the right things/ do the right things, H gor upset with me and there he goes again, withdraw from me and refused to see me. I am already very close to the end of the tunnel yet I am feeling hopeless by the hour. It is true that they say that this is the most difficult stage of all.
Hang in there, it is a hard road indeed but one road that we have to take. There is no short cut if we want to reach that one destiny with our S. Will come back shortly.
Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see..
