sadly, up until last night, i didn't know your full sitch, and i gotta say something here
my point was "walk a mile in my shoes" - the whole principle in that. well girlfriend, i walked a mile in your shoes after finding out a bit more about you and i gotta say this
take the time you need. no one is telling you how to feel. what everyone is saying is true, but like so many times, it has to be YOUR time to accept it. i guarantee you briget, you keep on like you been doing, and there are gonna be MUCH more things your gonna get shocked about your self - for the good
Quote: I love you all very much for letting me vent my feelings even if it isn't the right thing to feel.
nope nope nope
these feelings are real, and these are your feelings. all we are doing is giving you the tools you need to get passed it. and maybe it isn't time, because my goodness girl, you have made SO MANY changes already in your life, a body can only handle so much
cut yourself some slack. i sure did - when your ready, it will happen
that is what success is all about - learning from what others do to get somewhere and doing the same thing they do to get there too
Your letter really touches me. I especially like the tone of the letter. You sound so calm and self-assured. You also demonstrate your willingness to own your contribution to the situation and make it easier for him to imagine returning without fear.
Your closing requests for him to "write us an ending" and "write us a beginning" WOW...When the time comes...I may just "borrow" that! Knowing that you have been at this for 16 months has given me a lot to consider. I really thought that I had perhaps reached the end here at 5 months. Now I see how impatient I have become.
Please let us all know the outcome. I am sending good thoughts and prayers in your direction.
Ah Bets that letter from your daughter made me cry. You are so lucky to have such a wonderful kid and how could she not be coming from a wonderful strong person. This letter proves it.
Your talk with your boss also struck home. I know I've come a long way with H. I just don't like the person he is at the minute. I know all the things he is doing is out of his search for happiness and his fear of being hurt and I also feel I am his only true friend and the person who know him better than anyone.
Sometimes I want to shout at him: Yes I really want a relationship with you. Yes I really want your children Yes I really want to make a new life with you But I don't want to be treated like you treat OW. I want a committed loving realtionship and and until your ready and willing to give me that I'll wait.
The conversations that go on inside my head (very phoebe like )
Joanne
Always questioning???
Not always sad!!!
Joanne
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Albert Einstein
Ok my last post probably didn't make a lot of sense because it was about days ago. I've been catching up. The thread has been wonderful.
Betsy your letter it was beautiful and made me take stock of my sitch and think about things. I hope you get the answer you truly deserve.
The OP debate: I have called OW a lot of things and some to H face (which just made him defend her, me get madder, him defend her etc etc Get the picture)Most of the time I try not to think about her but Now although I don't like her or the tricks she pulled I feel sorry for her. H is treating her even worse than he treated me and well it is only a matter of time.
Lying: H does this so much too. I agree with someone who said it was to protect them from hurt I think H is guilty of that too but I would rather know the truth. I now know when he is lying and I intend to say please no lies or else we'll discuss something else. Maybe then he wont get mad and gradually stop lying.
PamelaC yo said New plan of attack? Make H realize that he is not a failure, I am not a failure, and our relationship does not need to fail. We are simply two people that made mistakes and have learned from them. This plan sounds good to me.
Keep up these great debates and I will follow suite.
God bless Joanne
Always questioning???
Not always sad!!!
Joanne
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning. Albert Einstein
The letter was beautiful and I like everyone else here wait with baited breath to hear the answer to the story. You have no idea how I hope and pray that your H writes the ending we all hope and dream for.
Your strength is inspirational! Thank you for sharing your story with us. Totally
Hey Bets, You are so eloquate with your writing. Are you ready for the answer to the letter. It may not be what you expect. I know we have to draw a line in the sand sometime and I guess your time has come. Good luck.
Howdy all! I'm glad you felt the way you did, and thanks for the thumbs up. But the reason I didn't post it first is because I KNEW it was a good one!
Randy, I'm MORE than ready for answers. The best part of this process is that I'm truly at peace. I have never felt more calm in my life. I'm not anxious or nervous, because I know that there will be absolute truth in the answer he gives me.
I have NO expectations whatsoever of the outcome. And I've worked really hard to put myself in the spot I'm in. I'm actually finding it joyous!
I'm sure you guys think I'm nuts, but it truly is living in the NOW. There is no other truth for me. I've worked really hard at making good and lasting changes, and I've also worked hard to draw Mr. Wonderful back to me. He's as close as he can be without committing himself to reconciliation.
This is how I know the timing is right to ask for what I want. What I want isn't what you guys think it is. I don't want to reconcile my marriage if he doesn't feel the same way. What I DO want is to know what is in his heart. And if that is an expectation, well, so it is. I'm absolutely certain that whatever answer he gives me will be well pondered and truthful.
Life is really good!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
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