Are you really starting to implement some PM? If so, then the shirtless thing is similar to some of the weird behavior my W is doing. That's the fun of PM...it seems to initially make the LD spouse do really bizarre things like my W reciprocating a "deep" kiss in a bar right next to me a few weeks ago.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
I think you and I are living in alternate universes. Thinking maybe I was making things too easy (boring) for my H, last week I challenged him to try to make me come through breast stimulation only the next time we had sex. He forgot.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I think you and I are living in alternate universes. Thinking maybe I was making things too easy (boring) for my H, last week I challenged him to try to make me come through breast stimulation only the next time we had sex. He forgot.
If I ever heard those words come out of my wife's mouth, I'd take a vacation day from work immediately and make plans for the kids to be at the sitter's for the night. I'll be damned if I'm gonna forget a challenge like THAT!
Yeah, that's pretty hot. I had this girlfriend between wife #1 and wife #2 who liked it when I'd do that....now I look back on that relationship and almost wish it would have never happened, as it raised the bar so high.
Anyway, I really appreciate everyone saying that I was right not to touch W when she was shirtless. I feel like I need to start "Pressure-holics Anonymous."
Hi, I'm Hairdog. Audience: Hi, Hairdog. I'm a Pressure-holic. I haven't pressured my W for six months. Audience: Yea, Hairdog. Six months. Six sex-less months. Six months during which I haven't sighed. I haven't touched her body anywhere near anything that could be considered an erogenous zone. Six months of hugging without really letting my body come into contact with her. Six months of Hollywood-style air kissing. Six months of stupid-happy-face without any complaints about anything. Six months of leaving the room during Victoria Secret commercials so she doesn't think that I'm thinking about sex, which she would equate with pressure. Six months of looking into her eyes and no where else, when she comes out the shower, dripping, and wants to talk to me about world events. Six months of sporadic insomnia as she tests my limits by feeling free to touch me, yet ready to immediately cry foul if I try to touch her back. Six months of feeling like a eunuch.
I couldn't have done it without my sponsors here at SSM. I'd run to them every morning with my horror story of how I was SO tempted the night before, and they would pat me on the back and tell me how strong I was.
LOL, the problem I have is that if I don't have sex on the weekend, usually I'm pissed off by the next one and my feeling is reflected in my attitude or lack thereof. Then what, no sex again ? It's a constant. So maybe we do it once every 6-8 months, but I'm horny everyday.
Thanks, Pam. I really don't want to give her any more books to read. I think she has enough on her hands trying to avoid reading the relevant parts of SSM. I know she has to face her fears, but me giving her a book about sexual abuse in childhood is not going to help her or help out situation. I have asked her before if she thinks she was sexually abused in her childhood and the answer is no. I believe her. Any "abuse" she suffered was more in the nature of a father who probably paid more attention to his new wife than to his daughter, and his verbal/emotional abuse (a la "how could you be so stupid?")
Hi Corri. Interesting that you should ask. At first, she seemed the same ole same ole. A couple of things happened, however, later on.
First, I had smoked a pork loin on Sunday, and we ate it last night. It was one of those large pork roasts, not a little tender loin (delicious, by the way). At the end of the meal, which I had prepared by myself for me, W, visiting MIL and DD, W said to me, "DD needs a bath." I responded, "I would be happy to give her one. Would you clean up the kitchen?" Remember, this has been an issue in the past...she expects me to do everything. At first, she kind of balked, but then MIL chimed in and said that of course they will clean up.
I grab DD and start walking. W sees remainder of pork roast and asks, "what am I supposed to do with this? Slice it? Wrap it up as is?" She seemed totally at a loss. MIL said, "don't worry, I'll take care of that."
Hairdog, with a smile to his voice and to his face, said, "Yes, just let MIL do it. She's not intimidated by a big piece of meat." And Hairdog laughs. And continues walking. He hears a muttering sound emanating from W. "What?" said Hairdog. W said, "I'm not talking to you."
I came downstairs after DD's bath, and, although the plates had been put in the dishwasher, and the dishwasher was running, the kitchen counter was piled with pots, pans, and glasses. Now granted, the dishwasher was pretty full, but I usually hand wash pots and pans which won't fit in the dw. I know that, had I left the kitchen in such a state, I would have heard it from W. I just left it that way.
Rest of evening was spent watching a movie on TV, with MIL and W on couch, and me in chair. Not many words exchanged.
I go to bed first. Later, W comes to bed. She is wearing a shirt.
That's about it. She said goodbye to me this morning (I kissed her goodbye on top of her head) and sounded very cheery. If I come home to a full and clean dishwasher and to a messy counter, I will empty the dw, but I will leave the pots and pans on the counter for her to finish. I'm reserving judgment on whether she's pulling a passive aggressive on me until I get home. If the mess is there, I will try my best to not get angry, and to, instead, look on it as another opportunity for me to show that my boundaries are strong.
Hairdog, chief cook and bottle washer, but not at the same time.
