OK, while we're all doing chores to make our Acts of Service spouses feel loved, keeping the pressure off so they don't withdraw, and posting ironically funny messages on this board...
How do you handle the sexual frustration? Cold showers don't help, and they're cold. Running 5 miles does seem to lead to a level of release. Masturbation isn't all that interesting, or all that helpful, but it's the closest thing I have to sex.
It's not just sexual release, there are so many things to compensate for. I can compensate for not being touched to some extent by cuddling with my wife.
So - what do you do to hang in there and compensate for what you're not getting in sex while working on the relationship?
I come here! At least I know I'm not alone, and I get ideas I can use to work on R. But I know what you mean. Nothing can replace the closeness and how that affects the rest of the R. (As an HD husband, it's also frustrating to read posts from all these HD wives!)
I concur with coming here to help with the frustration, although I've fallen in love with every HD wife who is posting.
Someone gave me some good advice about physical exercise helping relieve the stress of doing without sex. So, I adopted the practice of working out whenever I'm feeling sexually frustrated.
Imagine how we HD women feel when we hear you guys talk about your wives and what you are doing/have done/are willing to do.....Same thing, Jeffo, still frustrating.
Mountain biking....there is no substitute. Because it's exercise combined with risk, you get endorphins AND adrenaline while burning off testosterone. Secondly, the bumpity-bump on your nuts make you not so horny at night. Third, when lying in bed at night with your eyes closed, you start to have visions of undulating single-track (trail) flow through your head instead of visions of sex. When it stops working, then you need to start "night riding"...you can't beat having 40 feet of visibility while whipping through the trees at 20 mph. When *this* stops working, you can take up racing...then your nuts are meaningless.
-Dave (who raced last sunday)
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
I agree, masturbation has gotten boring. I only do it when I've gotten to the point of needing to explode. Other than that, coming here helps a LOT, reading SSM, PM, or (heck) any old book also helps. If you're a praying person, I've found myself on my knees several times about this issue (and not in the way I would *like* to be on my knees about it). Take a walk, exercise, or...here is some out there thinking...snuggled up to the ol' LD spouse and take your chances...? (I know, I know. Shouldn't have even suggested that!)
Can I ask what you praying folks pray for? I used to pray that W would want me, but I know that's not going to happen. I know, I know...all things are possible with God. But the problem is my W's will and God won't change a person's will.
The only prayer I've found to work is to ask for strength for each day. That helps me not to look at the barely Spandex covered women at the gym and not to react to women who flirt (and know what they're doing, dang it!).
I pray to want to do what God wants, to be led by God's spirit, to be able to love my wife and not just focus on my own desires, that she will feel loved, and that things will change so that I feel loved.
