I have never posted over here in piecing, but these posts on crazymaking were just too close to home not to respond. As I was reading what Meredith wrote, I was saying "yep, done that... That's me.... ugh, I really am a crazymaker!"
I too fought with my H to get what I needed. My H too hated fighting, and would try to avoid it at all costs. I took this as he didn't care enough about me to put the time and effort into "fixing" what I thought we needed to work on. Only now do I realize that it wasn't really the problem I wanted fixed, but to hear him say something like what can I do hon? I know that staying home with 3 kids is tough, but you are doing a great job. Anything to fill up MY love tank.
It does seem silly now, to not get that by picking these fights, wanting everything in black and white, that I was pushing my H so far away. He finally gave up, because he felt that no matter what he did, I wouldn't/couldn't be happy.
I thank you for readdressing this crazymaking "disease" because you have given yet another db'r much to think about.
Quote: Basically, what we want and need from posters is honesty with kindness, praise without veneration (thanks to Myrrh for the great vocabulary word), guidance without use of force, and compassion without pity. We want to feel respected. We want others to recognize when we're hurting and not ask us for more than what we are able to give. And we want patience from our fellow posters.
Yes.
Things I am grateful for... I appreciate...
--my family. my mom and my sisters have been tremendously supportive for me throughout all of this. --the new friends I've made since December. they have helped to me to have a life again. --that I'm going to church again and really happy about it. --my job, a job that challenges me and lets me be myself. --this bulletin board and all the wonderful people on it. --that my W is an extremely generous and caring person. that I am lucky to have her as a friend.
Hmmm...I thought we women couldn't aim when we pee!
Bridget, I'll have to read yer stuff...sounds like we have a lot in common, as I am seeing in all you crazy-makers, you!!! Wow, and to think that I thought I was sooo alone in this. I told h about the phrase and he agreed that I am a c-maker.
Yes, what is step one in the process? Admitting it? Ok, we've got that. What's #2?
