Both SSM and DR talk about Self-fulfilling Prophecies. If you already have something in your mind, then everything leads you in that direction.
I believe that my WAW has had self-fulfilling prophecies since the beginning of our R, over 8 years ago. She had been hurt in the past and thought I would eventually do the same. She has told me that going into MC, she thought things were probably already too broken to be fixed.
I kept a positive attitude and solving my problems and our problems became a self-fulfilling prophecy for me. And fixing my problems and how I'd contributed to the problems was something I wanted to do...and put in the time/effortto do.
Everything that wasn't solved overnight became another nail in the coffin as far as my WAW was concerned. I firmly belive that she wants me to be the bad guy or will find reasons to reinforce her attitude. That's not an honest broker.
The reason that I've come to learn the power of attitude and self-fulfilling prophecies is because I've been offered a job that would take me 200 miles away. Everything about the job appears to be a step up for me. And I've noticed this week that everything at my current job irkes me because mentally I've probably already made the decision to leave. A slow network, a nagging client, a screw-up by a team member...I am using them all as signs that reinforce my mental attitude.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." – Lao Tzu
OMG, I've always had a "prophecy" that everyone on this board would give me $100! And my wife would bump her head and become a nymphomaniac! And she'd inherit a liquor store!
Whoa.
I say, "go for it" DBR. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, you know. Of course, so does a tumble down a flight of stairs.
DBR - I totally know what you mean about self-fulfilling prophecy. I think my H does that, too. He convinced himself early in our relationship (mostly likely due to his belief I was vastly more experienced than him combined with his whacked-out images of sex gotten only from porn) that he would be a failure in the "lover" department. And now that's exactly what (IN HIS MIND) he has become. Sigh.
