Is delving into childhood anti DB? I'm not so sure about that, Sage. The fact is that most of us (if not all) bring baggage into our marriages that originated in childhood.
Yah...you're right...I was joking a little bit but also sensitive to the "fact" that I can spend a bit too much time "cause hunting" and not enough time "solution hunting".
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Oh my, Sage. This I'm going to have to make into a "mirror card" for my morning mantra:
"Relax. Appreciate. Observe. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Let yourself be loved. Open. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful. Share. Smile. "
i just read through the last couple of pages here sage, and find it as always to be inspiring food for thought. My fervrent hope and prayer and fondest wish it that someday my M will be where yours is. How long have you been at this? sorry, I know I've asked before, but have read so much I get mixed up!
Quote: * when people make a good friend or fall in love with a delightful person, their addiction to unhappiness can often spoil the pleasure to be had in the relationship by causing them to overlook the other's strengths and overemphasize the other's weaknesses.
Boy... is this something to think about. Why is it when I think I HAVE grown, and surely I don't need to grow anymore, is something ELSE pointed out?? Wow, was I truly addited to unhappiness? Did I want to control things to that extent? Scary.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Quote: Boy... is this something to think about. Why is it when I think I HAVE grown, and surely I don't need to grow anymore, is something ELSE pointed out?? Wow, was I truly addited to unhappiness? Did I want to control things to that extent? Scary.
Right there with you re. the growth...I asked a friend the other day if I could be "done now".
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Went out to dinner with a friend last night. I haven't seen her in a few months so it was fun and relaxing to catch up. We have an "easy" friendship -- very little drama, very little angst -- just good conversations and mostly over good food!
High on the positives yesterday...h continues to delight me with his attention to our $ sitch. He recently put plans in place to bring in some $ and he's been tremendously organized and focused around it.
He mentioned last night that he had ordered us a few surprises What I didn't tell him is that I had ALSO ordered him a surprise or two. This may seem to fly in the face of positive number 1 ($$) but I'm pretty sure the surprises were low on dollars, high on satisfaction. He told me that one of the surprises was something that he's wanted for a long time. I'm happy that he's getting it -- I really want him to know and believe that his desires are doable.
H told me last night as we were going to sleep that when he comes to bed after me and I'm already asleep he gives me a big hug. How can I not love this?
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Sage...It is such a pleasure to read you post each day. I know I've said this over and over....but your daily tidbits of LL from your H are what most of us are longing for. Thanks for sharing them....it keeps the hope alive. Just wanted to say thanks.
What I didn't tell him is that I had ALSO ordered him a surprise or two. This may seem to fly in the face of positive number 1 ($$) but I'm pretty sure the surprises were low on dollars, high on satisfaction. He told me that one of the surprises was something that he's wanted for a long time. I'm happy that he's getting it -- I really want him to know and believe that his desires are doable.