Its not too late!

[mylittlehalo]

any advise or thoughts on my last post???


Xh and I had plans to go to my nephews Derby race Saturday, He was stress about the DJ job he had later that night. He was worried he would not have enough time to go to nephews things and run all over town to get ready for his DJ job that night. I validated and told him that nephew would understand he had to work, I told him that I would call him and let him tell nephew he had to work and he would see him later. I have this funny feeling he wanted me to put my foot down and tell him that he already had plans with me, or did he just expect me to complain like the old me would have done. I do know he likes strong, confident women, these are a couple of the things that attracted him to me in the first place over 10 years ago. Does he think I am not strong or confident because I am not complaining about things, I dont let the little things get to me or make me angry. Am I reading too much into this? Very confusing IMO I believe I am a strong and confident woman!
I spent all day with my sis & nephew, called XH when I got home at 9pm, did not expect him to answer his phone but he did. We talked for a couple of minutes, then he called me @ 1:15 when he got home, to let me know he made it home okay. I thought it was very considerate to make sure I did not worry.
Last night I was lonely, My mom went out of town and took my dog. I ended up having a nice, quiet night at home, did some reading and watched TV.
hugs and prayers

[slowly]

hi halo - wow, what a lot of terrific developments. i'm quite new here, but what i understand about dbing is that we should do those things that bring our S closer to us - i'd say you are doing the right things in spades go for it. lots of hugs, slowly

[wiley]

Hi Halo,

Have this funny feeling he wanted me to put my foot down and tell him that he already had plans with me, or did he expect me to complain like the old me would have done?

I'm not so sure he wanted to put your foot down, I just think he was concerned about squeezing everything into a busy schedule. You did the right thing, you listened and validated and didn't complain and hopefully DID NOT TRY AND FIX THINGS too much..

I do know he likes strong, confident women, these are a couple of things that attracted him to me in the first place over 10 years ago.

Yes, most men do, and those qualities are DRAWING him back to you, along with some of the other personality characterisitics you possess..so keep it up. A happy, FUN, confident, non needy Halo does not read into things too much, she just IS who she is, she KNOWS what she has to do to have a more fulfilling R based on MUTUAL respect, and trust and love...etc. with her XH this time around. And the way she can enhance that is to NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF too much..if you know what I mean...Just trust that when these little perfectly normal concerns pop up now and again, that you are secure enough in knowing you'll handle them without TRYING TO BE TOO FINE..rather, just let your natural self come to the forefront. Handle things the way its NATURAL for you to do so, rather than how you THINK he'd want you to..

Nice job handling the anniversary gig, you resurfaced in fine fashion, you LOOKED GREAT, acted confident and NICE, bonded with his family..everything you needed to to you did...

Just keep doing what seems and feels right when you're together, and leave the expectations on the backburner..

Have a good week..

[mylittlehalo]

Wiley- just when I needed a PMA boost poof your word of wisdom appear.
I have read over this post several times today, really wanting it to sink in. LOL
Again thanks for the support!

I felt a little down yesterday when I looked in the mirror after my shower but decided that I was going to get back on the fitness train!! Planning on doing the treadmill and swim some laps today.

Nice job handling the anniversary gig, you resurfaced in fine fashion, you LOOKED GREAT, acted confident and NICE, bonded with his family..everything you needed to to you did...

You really think so? This was very scary for me. Like I stated before I was rather ugly to my MIL when Xh and I were married. Do you think I should appologize to her for all the wrong things that were done or should I just let it ride until she brings it up? I just dont want hard feelings to get between the R we can have now.
hugs and prayers!!

[sad_sad_sad]

Thanks for stopping in. Stop in at my new thread (in my signature below). Congrats to moving to this forum. I will read up and provide more later. Take care.

[wiley]

Halo,

Do you think I should apologize to her for all the wrong things that were done or should I just let it ride until she brings it up?

If it were me, I would not apologize, and just let your actions show her you are now doing the RIGHT things. If she brings it up, you sincerely and INSTANTLY AGREE with her that you were EXACTLY as she described during those times, then THANK HER for bringing it up, and mention that you are really working hard at not letting that happen again. DONE.

Thats it, thats all you have to do. You will quickly learn how not defending yourself in the eye of criticism while letting your ACTIONS speak for themselves, goes alot farther than apologizing ever will...

Good luck with the fitness thing, don't forget to drink your 64 oz of water every day..LOL..

[mylittlehalo]

Wiley, oh wise one. Again, great advise.

Actions speak louder than words!! (Repeat as necessary)

Since Beer is made with water, do you think it would count towards my water intake?? LOL

I went to Xh's house last night for a couple of hours, we watched the baseball game. Go Astros!!! They lost but it was still fun watching it with him. I really enjoy spending time with him but the drive is about to kill me, not to mention the price of gas. It takes me roughly an hour to get there and an hour to get back. I cant really complain because we do "take turns" visiting each other.
I am looking forward to us getting a house of our own together. Soon, very soon. Do you think a ransome type letter to his realitor will sell his house faster? LOL

Hugs and prayers

[rottzilla]

...decided that I was going to get back on the fitness train!! Planning on doing the treadmill and swim some laps today.

Come on over to my thread in "Just for Fun." I'm starting a fitness routine. Was supposed to start last Monday, but instead I'm doing it this week. Great to get some support!

[rottzilla]

Since Beer is made with water, do you think it would count towards my water intake?? LOL

Not sure if you have it near you, but Sam Lite counts for water. 110 cal, it's great stuff.

As a beer lover, I feel your pain.

[mylittlehalo]

I will look into the sam light.
thanks for that piece of info.


I am so nervous about easter with his family. My tummy has been upset for the last couple of days. I know I should look at it as if I am meeting them for the first time. (I actually am because I am the new and improved Halo) But I am worried about what they will think, say or do. I am also concerned that Ow's name will be brought up, I know not to respond, be upbeat and stuff but if anyone has any info on how to deal with this (maybe a trick or something) please let me know.
Hugs and Prayers