My sitch is that my H went and got a car (2004 pick up truck) under OW's name. By reading your current post, I gather she's feeling kinda like you are. She must be thinking that their R is going in the right direction.
First H moves in with her and then gets a brand new car under her name.
H insists that the car under OW's name means nothing. Simply that he needed a favor and she did it for him. When I asked H what would happen if things didn't work out between him and OW - he simply said then the truck comes with me.
Oh this is all so confusing!
It's really opened my eyes to read your post. It is a good thing for you - because that's how I see it. If H is getting a car under your name and his - then I would see it as him not going anywhere any time soon. But in my case - I guess what I thought all along is what it is.
Sorry to put in my 2 cents about this - but it kinda hit home with me - just the other way around.
Hi Jen...no problem with the thread, good to see you here. I think I read your sitch, that would be so hard. I just about die when I have to see OW here at work, I can't imagine what you must go through. This stuff is so confusing and hard....crazymaking is such an apt discription! I will be curious to see how the car thing plays out w/H....I just keep hoping OW is PO'd about it.I don't know, but all I can say is the look on his face when he came home Sat. night is the one he gets when he thinks he's had a royal A-s Chewing. I'll be over to visit you soon!
when the plot thickens, it really thickens....I just got back from follow-up Dr appt.. I have a call in to her to clarify some questions, but it seems I do have a little gift from a friend. What I understood her to say is that I am definitely positive for HPV (thank god HIV was neg.), now tests are being done to determine how agressive a form of the virus I have. My understanding is this is the virus that causes genital herpes (I've never had any lesions) and cervical cancer (fun, fun)I believe this is considered an STD so public health law requires partner disclosure and notification???? I'm not sure how that works, but I think the health dept. has to notify your partners. Does anybody know much about this, how the notification process works? I'm trying to think what to do next....I'm thinking I should say something to H before he gets Hlth. dept. notification, right? my understnding from talking w/dr, something else I need to clarify, is that if I'm positive, we all three are.....oh well, I hate to say it (actually not really), but revenge is sweet, nasty little nurse, who of all people ought to know better for a lot of reasons, gets bit in the butt by her own crap. yep, it'll work for me. hehehehe
Ok, so now I get to think about unconditional love....been thinking a lot about that for the last 1.5 hours. I've been asking myself if it changes the way I feel about H & our R & M. answer I come up with is "nope".....I'm still "in", I still want him/it. I knew when I found out about the A that this was a possibility, and have had my eyes wide open, so I guess I'm just glad it's not HIV or hepatitis.
I am very much afraid that H is going to be so upset that he will be really weird. I brought up this possibility when I first found out about the A, and he was/is so enamored w/his precious OW that he just couldnt see there could be any possiblity of such a thing (yeah, right, duh).........
anybody know much about either the virus or the notification process? i can sure use some help thinking through what to do now..........
Another issue is that Dr. was a roommate in college, so H always tends to think we are in "cahoots" about stuff....which is not accurate, she is always very professionaly distant about such stuff, I guess the tests that have been done several times are pretty definite.
Ironic, I was going to post/journal about some babysteps. maybe I will anyway, in another one so this isnt so long.
Actually Dr and I both think I got it from him who got it from her who has had numerous partners within the last several years. I haven't any partner other than H for the last 27 years. Dr. said it is possible but not probable that the virus could lie dormant that long. Dr.s intent, I understand, is to report the route of transmission through them. Oh, it's gonna be interesting.
My mind is going in circles here; I don't know what H is going to come up with. last fall when this mess first came to light, I had an infection called "gardenierella" (sp?), which is a bacteria that I understand can be sexually or nonsexually transmitted but is most often associated w/new sexual partners. I didnt have any new partners, and have never had this before....some states require it to be reported as an STD, but KS isn't one of them, so it was just a matter of treating it. I told H what I'd been told about it and he was upset that I "blamed him because I had an infection". I wasn't happy, thats for sure....but he also internalizes stuff so much.
I don't know what to think. I'm just really sick and tired of dealing with all this......
Oh well, I guess it should add to the "nicer, simpler life" OW wanted H to have w/her....ought to add a little spice to her life regardless, huh?
just bumping new stuff in sitch for input from anybody! when the plot thickens, it really thickens....
I just had follow-up Dr appt.. it seems I do have a little gift from a friend. What I understood is that I am definitely positive for HPV (thank god HIV was neg.), now tests are being done to determine how agressive a form of the virus I have. My understanding is this is the virus that causes genital herpes (I've never had any lesions) and cervical cancer (fun, fun)I believe this is considered an STD so public health law requires partner disclosure and notification???? I'm not sure how that works, but I think the health dept. has to notify your partners. Does anybody know much about this, how the notification process works? I'm trying to think what to do next....I'm thinking I should say something to H before he gets Hlth. dept. notification, right? my understnding from talking w/dr, something else I need to clarify, is that if I'm positive, we all three are.....oh well, I hate to say it (actually not really), but revenge is sweet, nasty little nurse, who of all people ought to know better for a lot of reasons, gets bit in the butt by her own crap. yep, it'll work for me. hehehehe
Ok, so now I get to think about unconditional love. I've been asking myself if it changes the way I feel about H & our R & M. answer I come up with is "nope".....I'm still "in", I still want him/it. I knew when I found out about the A that this was a possibility, and have had my eyes wide open, so I guess I'm just glad it's not HIV or hepatitis.
I am very much afraid that H is going to be so upset that he will be really weird. I brought up this possibility when I first found out about the A, and he was/is so enamored w/his precious OW that he just couldnt see there could be any possiblity of such a thing (yeah, right, duh).........
anybody know much about either the virus or the notification process? i can sure use some help thinking through what to do now..........
Another issue is that Dr. was a roommate in college, so H always tends to think we are in "cahoots" about stuff....which is not accurate, she is always very professionally distant about such stuff, I guess the tests that have been done several times are pretty definite
She's a nurse with HPV? She didn't use protection? Or get tested? Does this have to be reported to her work as she is in the health field? That would stink for her.
I would suggest first of all that you immediately begin to use protection with H. I know you love him, but if and when you ML, you cannot trust him. You said yourself he is not making you feel as if it is really over. Next time, it may be HIV. What if he goes out and has a one night stand.
I'm not talking very DB here, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to get you all worked up. But, this is your life you are talking about. Don't throw it away.
In the meantime, perhaps H will take this in stride. Is there a chance he already knows? Perhaps he has lesions and was afraid to tell you?
Maybe he will see this as what it is. A dangerous choice he made on his part that cannot be repeated because he is putting his life and your life in danger with these choices.
Also, Deb, can you possibly get that spelling for me? I looked online and couldn't find the "gardenierella" or anything like it. I'm interested because I had that bacterial infection, which my doctor said was an overgrowth due to too many baths. I want to look it up and be sure, though. Thanks. Good luck. (you can email me privately rottzilla@mindspring.com)
The exact cause of bacterial vaginosis is unknown. It’s possible that there are a variety of causes rather than a single organism to blame. It seems to occur more frequently in women who have new sexual partners or more than one partner, or those who have had multiple partners in the past; however, bacterial vaginosis is also found in women who are not sexually active.
Didn't mean to hijack your thread! 
Good luck. (you can email me privately