SuperDave's Love Language Survey

[Aquarian]

I just wanted to encourage anyone who had to guess at their spouse's LLs to please ask them. Don't be afraid to come right out and ask them what the 2 most important LLs are for them to feel loved. Guessing isn't good enough.

Come on! You can do it! Use it to practice communicating! SuperDave, CeMar, Dave36 and now40... why not KNOW what her LLs are! Find out, please!

Just post again if you have to change your votes ok?

Current Survey Results

[renew4me]

Me: HD. PT and WOA
W: LD. QT, followed by WOA and AOS

[AchingMan]

GREAT IDEA, SUPERDAVE!

I am HD
My LLs are

1. Physical Touch (I’ll second Dave36’s “duh”)
2. Quality Time
3. Words
4. Service
5. Gifts

My W is ND
Her LL's are:

1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Gifts
4. Words (fewer the better it seems)
5. Touch (only non sexual)

Although none of these seem to be enough to fill her tank.

Maybe later someone can tally the results and make some graphs, then we’ll have a boardroom meeting and decide whether to expand the corporation or merge with Sony.

Still searching for answers...maybe they’re blowin in the wind

AchingMan (aka Sarcazmo Schmartaz)

[rayanne]

Aquarian,

I know H's love languages, just didn't think they were pertinent, since we have been separated 5+ years, and are not planning on getting back together.

For statistical purposes he is (1) Words of Affirmation and
(2)Acts of Service.

Not sure if he is really LD. Think it was just his way of showing me he was p*ssed. However, he certainly isn't HD.

rayanne

[Aquarian]

I understand Rayanne! I think in most Rs, there is usually one who has a Higher Desire/Drive than the other... so LD/ND or unknown isn't really a necessary label.

Actually, I need to edit my LLs...
I am the LD
1. Quality Time
2. Words of Affirmation/Physical Touch
3. Acts of Service
4. Receiving Gifts

My H is HD
1. Physical Touch
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Quality Time
4. Acts of Service

[honeypot]

I think this is great advice. I posted in another thread that my H surprised me with his LLs. Guessing is fine but asking..and starting a dialogue is even better!

Mine are:
HD, 1. PT 2. QT
(the only REAL love languages....lolol, just kidding)

Husbands are:
LD, 1. PT 2. AOS

[SuperDave]

Here's my analysis of the results. You may disagree...
All HDs have "Physical Touch" and "Words of Affirmation" as the top two. Some HDs list "Quality Time" instead of "Words" but I believe they are thinking about “Quality pillow talk Time” which is “Words" really.
LDs mostly have “Quality Time” and “Acts of Service”.
Surprisingly “Receiving Gifts” is a minority language. I suspect if we were surveying childrens’ LLs it would be up there at the top but we have mostly grown out of it at our ages!
Most interesting is the number of LDs that list “Physical Touch” or “Words of Affirmation” in their top two (not usually together). I have a suspicion that my W is actually “Physical Touch” based on my observations of her with the children and cats. The challenge is to divert some of that onto me!

My conclusion is that "Physical Touch" and "Words of Affirmation" are the HD languages and “Quality Time” and “Acts of Service” are the LD languages. It makes sense because "Physical Touch" and "Words of Affirmation" directly relate to bedtime activities and “Quality Time” and “Acts of Service” make for a happy daytime life.
That’s just my view.
SD

Aquarian:
For some reason Michele has deleted two of our posts. I’m feeling rejected and hurt. I don’t remember writing anything contentious. Do you?

[now40]

an additional thought,
it is also possible that Physical Touch may not be the Prime LL of some of us HD...but we don't know because it is so obviously missing for us that it overshadows everything else.

[Aquarian]

SuperDave:
Don't take the deletions personally! I requested that those posts be edited, but it must have been easier/faster to just delete them.

Current Survey Results

[SuperDave]

now40,
I think you're right. I put Words ahead of Touch because I get a bigger buzz from being told "I love you" than from a cuddle or kiss. I feel that I crave loving words but don't crave physical touch quite so much (except the ultimate physical touch that is). Also Words of Affirmation can come from everywhere such as someone emailing me to say they think my software's cool (I'm a programmer) but I'm only interested in physical stuff with my W.
Aquarian,
Your graphs are superb! (That should fill your "Words" tank a little).
SD