Okay, I don't know if the above link worked to my story in newcomers, but I really need some guidance as to my last post there. How do you go about rebuilding your emotional intimacy? We're socializing together, we see each other about 3 times a week even though we're still separated, and we're doing our homework from retrouvaille and planning to attend the follow-up sessions. We're both very committed to trying to save our marriage, though DH will not move back home unless he feels as though he's "in love" again. I wouldn't want him to because I definitely wouldn't want to put our older daughter through that again.
We seem to easily run out of conversation topics and for that reason, I've been planning most of our socalizing to be with other people. I feel less pressure that way. Any suggestions other than what we're doing to rebuild?
Hi Mom2two, I'm bumping your post here up because I have the same question (along with many others)....I don't have a clue about this either, and would sure be interested in hearing what others have to say.
Hey mom, yes, you belong with us. Anyone who wants to belong here, does. It's that simple. I remember that as a newbie, I was intimidated by those that were "in piecing." It's silly, they are struggling with emotions just like anyone else, and they are learning day to day also.
Remember my thread? It is a self-fulfilling prophecy, so come on over. We'd be glad to have you.
What have you been doing on your own? Getting a life outside of marriage is the best thing you can do, then you will have plenty to talk about. Try taking up some hobbies that DH would be happy to join in on one day. Try talking about silly things. Read the newspaper. Whatever, talk is easy.
Besides, sometimes silence means you are comfortable with each other.
Try not to always be available to him and be a bit mysterious. Make him think there is some part of you he doesn't know about and may want to discover. Isn't it fun in the beginning of a relationship to learn new things about your new found love? Well, what is there left to you of intrigue? Nothing? Well, create some intrigue. Do something you always wanted to do and then share it - a little of it anyway.
