I feel like ML is SUCH a sensitive issue within most M's. The dynamic can be so weird, everything about feeling loved, needed, fancied etc is bound up within it as well as the closeness that successful ML gives you.
Maybe we just all have our individual cycles for needing it and those cycles are not necessarily in sync. So one of you needs it and because the other one isn't interested you need it more so you become persuing so that turns them off, so then you get fed up and you get turned off. Then their cycle says THEY need it and the whole game starts up in the opposite direction and only very occasionally do the cycles match up. My strategy at the moment is NOT to persue when I am in the mood just deal with it whatever way I can but DON'T persue. Then when he is in the mood but I'm not I get on with it anyway, the times I have done that I still enjoy it, maybe not as much as I would have but it's still good. That way I am hoping that our cycles of needing it/not needing it might come more in sync, or at least if he recognises that he gets it whenever he wants it then he might be more willing to give a little himself. You have to admit it is more difficult for men if they're not in the mood. I mean at least we can lie back and think of the grocery list - LOL
take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
Wise words!! and the best part of it is I know it to be true. It is more the negative self talk that is hard to deal with than the actual "no action". It is the things I convince myself to be true as a result of h's occassional indifference. Well if I can convince myself these negative thoughts/feelings (that I'm undesireable, unsexy, unfeminine, h doesn't really love me etc) are true, I can also convince myself they are not. I know them to be untrue..every last one of them...it is just what I start to tell myself when h isn't paying attention to me in that way..."if he thought I was X he'd do Y" shame shame on me.
anywho thanks for dropping by, I always appreciate a visit.
a shameless bump just becuase I felt needy and wanted a few hello's to know you all still care about your local pain in the but LL who broke her own rules to start a thread.
if they're not in the mood. I mean at least we can lie back and think of the grocery list - LOL
