I am not here much...I do check in every so often...things are going so good..sometimes it scares me..I do know that I don't take life for granted.. H still does not have a job..hoping for the church thing to open up..in the meantime we survive..
Daybreak...if you read this..I have missed you and thought about so often..if you read this..I would love to email you..you can ask KAW for it..I hope you are doing ok..please contact me.
Sue, It's good to see that things are going well for you. I have also been here a long time--7/2002. My H left right before our 20th wedding anniversary on the last day of May, 2002. He lived with OW for almost 2 years, and told me the day before our courtdate, June 2004, that he didn't think he wanted a D. H is not home and we are taking things slowly.
We have been doing 'family' outings, and last night had our first actual date without kids.
My H has not ever said that he did anything wrong and has not said that he loved me---just that he missed me.
Anyway, I thought that I would ask someone that has been there---I have many questions about his A, but haven't asked for fear that it would run him off. There are things that I just need to know--I can't act like nothing ever happened, like he seems to be able to do. When did you feel comfortable enough to ask the questions that you had? Did you let your H bring up the R talks first, or did you?
Any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated.
Congrats again--and I hope that your H finds a job that he will enjoy soon.
I really appreciate your feedback on my post. And yes....you have been the one I've followed the last 6 months....you gave me "HOPE" even at some of my most struggling moments. Your H came back to you, just when my H decided to sep. Yet...you are there and got there after such a long haul. Your PATIENCE and FORGIVENESS really hit me square in the face. That is what held me together, along with my spiritual awakenings....God is the main player here, and only He really can help us soften our hearts, forgive, and learn how to re-connect with our WAS....when they're ready, that is.
It is still a struggle within at times....old memeories creep up and can get me nervious. But watching H's actions and feeling his presence and his constant appreciation of how we are relating....helps me to STOP the neg. thinking. Like I said, we have a long ways to go.....re-building the trust, etc....but I'm willing to go there and be patient.
You deserve all the happiness and joy you both are feeling. I will keep your H in my thoughts and prayers for a meaningful job in the near future. Keep up the good work....and we all appreciate you moments of checking in when you can. And by no means, should you feel obligated to get on the BB too often....your prioity is your M and family and that's where all those wonderful efforts should continue to go.
Thanks for inspiring me several months ago and the continued feedback. I have your email and will send you off a note soon. Mooka
After being off the boards for a long time, I felt a lot of joy that your H finally got it! I am not sure if I am going to start a new thread anytime soon - I don't want to repeat the mistakes that I made last time. I have exchanged a couple of e-mails with KAW - he said that he would pass on how to get in touch with you.
Bob
Me 52, STBEX 52 D 17, S 12 M 20 years Em Sep since 2002, Phys Sep Sept 2009
Bob.....I am so happy to hear from you..I will definatly be contacting you!!!
DNO...thank you for the kind words..I have been very stressed with my job..very tired..worried..and to have you guys here thank me for giving you hope..inspiration..means more to me than you can imagine.I have told my h about this place..not too much tho, and told him how much it moved me that I have been there to help and inspire others..while not all m will end up as mine, there is still life out there to be lived...we can't make our s want to be with us, but we can choose how we live our life.
My h came clean about alot of what happened right up front..as tiem went on, I asked him more, and he always responded willingly..I don't say much anymore, but there are times I feel sad..but only for a short time..I still wonder if anger will surface someday..or did time and forgiveness heal..while he never confessed a thing until Feb. of this year, I knew in my gut that it had been going on, so I think the healing began a long time ago. Take time to heal..if you try to repair a m without coming to a peace of some sorts, then it might not happen.
Your positive attitude about everything always amazes me. Even through the worst of times, there was this peace oozing out of you. It is wonderful. I'm glad things are going well for the R and you are together and surviving his unemployment, if you guys can handle that, you can handle anything! I would think that would be a very high stress time for him.
Jackie.......thanks for stopping by......things going great..and h does not seem stressed at all...says things will work out.
TOmorrow is our 26th annniv. I got him a nice card...you know it has been about 5 years since we really acknowledged our m...so it is special..Wed night is his choir night so we are going to our local fair Fri night to see Trace Atkins perform..and tonight went for pie and then to church to paint..I have never been one that needed gifts..but I do hope he gets me a card..
Life is good, despite h not having a full time job..I am stressed with mine, and come home and vent..but I am thankful I have one.
