Hold on PnB and just go with the flow for now ... its OK to feel off every once in a while ... tomorrow morning when you wake up, don't forget to ask yourself ... "So what can I do today to make it better than yesterday?"
Thanks KAW.
And you are right....this is our version of 'Tool Time'.
Monkey IS able to see what he's doing and how self-serving it is.
He not only sees that he's saying cruel things to me just to 'bolster his case' he's telling me what he's doing!!
So, now I can stop being scared that there's something I didn't see, or that I'm not facing reality, because he's flat out told me that when he's attacking, he 'rewrites history to suit him.'
I have to tell you, that's one thing I was extremely worried about with my depression. Was I remembering things wrong? Was his version of our marriage the reality?
Etc etc.
Thus to have him admit to me that he was 'rewriting history to bolster his case' is wonderful.
And hopefully, now he will cease using this fighting tool.
I was so drained last night, between the weather and still being a little bit sad. So, I was bad...got myself some 'comfort food' (carbs from Burger King ) and watched some comfort tv.
Husband came home and told me great news!
He has 3 weeks vacation time, and his boss has been refusing to let him use any of it...but has now agreed to let him have a week's vacation next week!!
He told me he's going to use most of that week to concentrate on finding a job in our town!
Woo hoo!! No more 1.5 hour drives to work, and then 1.5 hours back!
Which means less wear and tear on his car! And more weekends together (if he gets a job at the University)!
So...yeah him!
We flirted last night. I was upbeat and perky, and I meant it! (Comfort food and tv helped!)
1> He got vacation time from work!! He said he's going to use this time to get a job in our town...no more long commutes!!
2> I reminded him that his Dad is coming to visit during that week...Husband suggested visiting with his family that weekend...and asked me to join him.