Please help me. It may be too late, but I could use everyone and anyone's last resort techniques that have helped turn around their sitches when all seemed lost. Thanks.
H is taking me grocery shopping tomorrow. Any ideas on how to behave? Should I act like it's a date? Or should I just be cool and distant? I'm so afraid of messing this up...he's already staying at his folks' place. I have got to make a good impression tomorrow. He is coming over to work on taking Christmas tree down and then we are driving to go shopping. What should I do?
I could be wrong, but it sounds like you have more chance to DB with the opportunity you have.... and use LRT for when it really is the last resort and there is nothing else you can do.
"Being at peace with yourself is a direct result of finding peace with God."
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:7
I don't see the LRT as something that one does in a day. Like most of Dbing it's a process that takes time to sink in. If you're really at the LRT then building a friendship is the best place to start. Think of him as a friend, and use the "would-I-do-this-with-my-friend" standard to guide your behavior. Be friendly. Don't ask prying questions, but be interested in whatever it is he wants to talk about. Don't take it personally if he seems a little self-absorbed or insensitive. Don't offer up too much of your own information. Be cheerful about your life, projects, work, etc. Smile. If he frowns back, ask him what's wrong, because that's what friends do. The lightbulb in his head might not come on, but at the very least he'll end the day thinking how pleasant you are to be around.
Have no expectations of him. Expectations for you: be nice, be compassionate (ask after his welfare), be encouraging, listen to what he says and indicate you are listening, be happy (maybe dance in your seat to music:)!), just be friendly....like zero said treat him as you would a friend.
A helpful question to ask is "would Jesus do this, say this?"
AND DON'T READ INTO HIS WORDS, FACIAL EXPRESSION. TAKE NOTHING PERSONAL! AND DON'T ASSUME ANYTHING.
Often on my dates with husband, before he moved back in...I'd mentally ask myself, what would I do if he were a guy friend of mine...and then respond the same way I would to him (I pictured one of my friends that was most like my husband in personality).
Ok...today when he comes I will just be nice. I will just offer him some coffee or tea (like I would any friend) and I will help him take the tree down. I will be ready to leave when he is and we will go get my s and take him to his dad's. Then, we will go shopping. Hopefully, the ride back is ok. It's 1 1/2 hours.
Wish sex was an option, but it's NOT. It's been over a month and a half.
