Quote: He has not even read the SSM that I bought.
Men don't read, if we will not ask for directions or read a manual, what makes you think he will read a manual on sex. I only read after 6 months. I however did listen to M/V audio, so get the audios and listen with him.
Quote: If you had read M/V as you said, you would know to use I FEEL statements. Talking and justifying are all cheeseless tunnels. Please reread the area about this.
I try not to go down cheeseless tunnels and did try to get across to him my FEELINGS. I did stress this is how any situation made me FEEL. It is hard to get him to understand these things sometimes because he says that I am way to sensitive. Sometimes that makes me laugh - he can be the most sensitive person on the face of the earth when the shoe is on his foot!
What kind of herbs are you talking about specifically? I might be able to talk him into something like that - maybe maybe not.
I think he is fully aware that sometimes I just want to lay close by him. I am aware that he is out like a light almost as soon as his head hits the pillow so I guess he sees that as a delay to getting to La La Land.
As far as our date night - we mostly go out to eat at our favorite restaurant in a neighboring town and then go to Starbucks that is about a 20 minute drive from our home. We spend that time talking. We do go to movies about once a month but that doesn't change our date night.
I am glad your XW unblocked her e-mail. Perhaps it will lead to more open communication for both of you.
Just when you think it has all gone wrong, bam, the unexpected knocks the daylights right out of you.
I had about given up on passion with my wife. I don't know what happened, we hadn't recently talked about her lack of passion - there was no need as she seemed incapable of expressing any.
Last night blew that conception out of the water. She had tried to initiate several times over the past couple of weeks, and *I* was the one avoiding an encounter. She did realize this, and got pretty upset about it several times. I never explained what was going on. Honestly, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I know she was trying to figure it all out, but like I asked before, how do you generate passion where none exists? I saw no point in reopening an old wound.
I still don't know that you can make passion from thin air, but maybe passion can be awakened in a person with only a smoldering ember.
Last night we made love. Not wild swinging from a rope Kama Sutra love, but sweet, passionate, romantic love. The best part, it was absolutely real and heartfelt.
Just when you think all is lost, it really isn't.
So keep on trying folks. Try not to give up. If we can recover a love life ravaged by decades of issues, so can you. I am sure that next week, or possibly tomorrow may bring some new issue in our recovery, but at least I know that passion is possible now. I think I can deal with just about anything else.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I'm glad you are having success with your wife. I hope it is continuing.
I think I have an answer to your original question, though.
Quote: How does one generate passion where none exists?
I would say if there is no passion, then there is very little to no 'respect' in your marriage as well. I think passion blooms from the seed of respect. Respect that you have for yourself, the respect you have for your partner, and the respect you have for your marriage. If any one of those 'respect' areas is lacking, from YOU first, and then from your spouse, you are facing a passionless marriage.
If you can restore that, with you and your partner, I think you are well on your way to restoring whatever passion may be missing.
