I didn't mean NOT to take care of the kids at all or withdraw all support financially. I was thinking more along the lines (if this is what you do) of not giving her money everytime she cries about the lack of it ie: I can't do ________ because the kids need fed,bills need payed etc. Some women do use this ploy excessively...they want to have their freedom and they want you to support them in it financially as well. I wasn't totally aware of how often you got your son or took care of the kids. SOme women use the children to manipulate a sitch too...if you want to be a part of their lives then you have to do it at the whim of the mother. Visitation is on W's terms, babysitting is often requested KNOWING the inconvenience it might cause etc. Personally I find it reprehensible for a woman to use her children this way...it is petty, selfish and vindictive.
I guess what I am trying to say is keep it reasonable and don't make it TOO easy. I know you are worried about making W angry or driving her further a way but there comes a time when you have to take a risk. Just lovingly detatch...don't automatically revert back though the first time W gets angry cause you aren't doing things HER way. Just smile and say "I apologise but I have to work, don't have the money to spare, need the truck myself" or whatever applies
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
Ok time for an update. Last night I dropped my son, W's car is running poorly so I offered to take sd to the skate rink.. Then W asked me to take her to Wal Mart to get some groceries... We wentback to her place and I hung out fora little while then went home... No fighting had a good night.. Had an apologetic talk about the fight the other night.. About 30 minutes later W calls and says I can come back if I want to, so of course I did.. I pampered her a bit.. Rubbed her feet and legs for her.. Acts of love/service.. Went and picked up Sd and went back to her house... We went to her bedroom and talked for a while, While I rubbed her back.. Then out of the blue she stated she was in the mood, but said she didnt trust me so she said we shouldnt.. I said thats fine I accept her wishes... Then she said if we have sex it will just confuse things... I validated he feelings.. then a few minutes later she asked if the kids were a sleep and then said you want too??? So... We ... I went home about 12:45.. Then at 1:45 she called me, our son was struggling to breath.. I rushed over there and she met me in the parking lot to go to the emergency room... He was crying and saying help me mommy.. SO we went to the hospital only to find that the emergency room has been closed, then we run to the Urgent care facility of coarse they are closed... We ended up driving 20 miles to the next hospital. W held my hand the whole way and told me I was staying with her tonight.. We got back home about 5:30... Son is doing better now, he has the croup. It came on real sudden. When he went to bed he just had a little runny nose... Nothing major... I called into work.. I just couldnt work with no sleep. We got up about 8:30 and I ran to get his medicine.. I have been over there off and on most of the day.... Doing little things to help her out all day... Last night scared the hell out of both of us.. What a night.. I think it might have started her thinking.. W told me today she wants to go out but then she doesnt.. you know.. She said she is lonely... I know I should detach but I dont think that it is the right thing for my sitch.. I am going to keep up the loving acts, and keep up the good fight. I will start practicing more tough love though.. I love my wife and want my family back..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I watched the kids last night so that W could have some peace. Anyways she called me last night at 11:45 to see if the kids were still up and she would come get them. I asked her if she had fun tonight an she said no. She wasnt real confident about getting up this morning and comming over and getting them. So I said she is welcome to come over here and stay the night. Well she was here within 20 minutes... She checked her mail then came to bed.. She kept saying she had forgotten how comfortable my bed was. Then she initiated.. .. Our ordeal on Friday has been an eye opener to me about how precious my children are. I can only hope that it has moved my wife to thinking too..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I am so glad your son is better... and that you were there to help your family when the situation arose. I do hope that your W wakes up and realizes your changes are permanent. But in the mean time, keep doing what you know is the right thing and do not expect anything from her.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
I dont expect anything from her, just pleasantly suprised when things are good.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I just wanted to check in on you. I just noticed you moved your thread.
Thanks for me are worse than ever. He contacted me Thursday, moved things out Friday and had me fill out paperwork so he can file tomorrow. Fast, I know. I'm back to where I was 4 mo ago with my PMA. Gotta go through the stages all over again...
Well Today was interesting.. No contact with the W since I left for work this morning, until I got home from work. I wasnt home 10 minutes before she was knocking at my door. Asked me if I would mind taking her to Wal Mart.. I said sure.. Out of the blue she says that we only have each other and we need to be friends. There is no reason she needsto sit at home being lonely mad at me. I said Yes we need to be friends.. I validates my butt off. We went shopping and had a good time.. Next thing I know she invites me over to dinner. We made fajitas. I griled the chicken and she made up the rest.. I just got home a few minutes ago.. We are both exhausted from this weekend. I cant wait to go to sleep early tonight.. The doc gave my son a steroid for his throat friday night and he is seriously roid rageing from it... I hope it wears off soon cause man is he a handful.. I hope all is well with yall..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
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