Quote: Im trying to stay patient but some days I have a very hard time with it all.
If you make this into a t-shirt, you might get rich.
Oh, Lee. I feel for you guy, I really do. You've been doing this for so long. What if you act as if your wife has an illness (she does) and really needs your help right now. What if you minister to HER needs, love her unconditionally (yes, without sex as a condition) until she is well. Show her how much you love her. Fill, fill, fill HER love tank, without regard for yours. Do this... then watch what happens.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Hi Lee! Just got caught up with you...sounds like you are really on a major rollercoaster. You have gotten some excellent advice already. It sounds like you have to really exercise your patience muscle here!!
If the meds help with the mood swings and you get into a good pattern, then you can start working on her LL and take it from there!!!!!!!
Hang in there and keep coming here to vent!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Thank you, Lee for posting on my thread. How are you today???? Hang in there. I'm really pulling for you and really have hope for you and you W making it through this tough time. ((((Lee))))
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Well my W seems to be getting so much better now that she is on the meds. By the way Ellie he dose is 50 mcg the pills are white. I think I know what is going on she had a friend come in from out of town yesterday and they went out. She was telling her that while she was off the meds she was severly depressed. I don't know if this is one of the symptoms of inactive thyroid but I think it is more of what is really going on with her. I have even talked to her about it and she says that there is no way no how that she could be depressed. So I don't know what to think about that. My guess is that she is depressed but she won't go and talk to anybody about it so I guess I will have to wait.
Anyway just confused at this point about my M and what is happening but hopfully I will come out of the fog.
Quote: She was telling her that while she was off the meds she was severly depressed. I don't know if this is one of the symptoms of inactive thyroid but I think it is more of what is really going on with her
Hypothyroidism can DEFINITELY cause symptoms of depression, so you really won't know if there is an underlying depression until her thyroid is fully treated. 50 mcg is a fairly small "beginner" dose - most people require more to be "right" = at least 75, sometimes up to 150. She should definitely get a blood test after 6 weeks on this dose and get her dosage adjusted up if needed. Remember what I told you about the TSH - although the "normal" lab range in the past has been 0.5 to 5.0, current thinking by endocrinologists is that you should shoot to get it between 1 and 2, and this is what infertility docs have found is the optimum for fertility, so make sure your W pushes her doc to get her up into that range (remember TSH goes down as thyroid hormone levels go up).
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Im Very worried for my marriage. Im seeing my W start to do those little things she did before the BOMB dropped. She seems always angry. No matter what I do it is never enough. If I do, do somthing for her I did it wrong.
The last couple of days I have been really thinking of ways That I can change to make this do able. I just don't see any.
As in today When I got up from work W asked me if I would stay home so that she could get some sleep. I said "sure I hate work anyway." So I stayed home. Took my D to school. Went and picked her up. Went to see when my W was getting out of bed this is around 4:00 PM. Asked her if she wanted to go to the Gym with me. She said she didnt know and to stop bugging her because she was tired. After 9 hrs of sleep. So I asked her if she had been taking her pills she got irritated(sp) with me and said yes she had. So I left and went to the gym when I got home at 6:30 she had finally got out of bed 12 hrs later. I didnt say anything about it to her. Thinking to myself if I had done what she just did she would have ripped me a new on. But its ok for her to do these things.
She was telling me today how she hates her body so on so forth. I said that I am sorry that I don't know exactly how she feels but I can understand it.
I am just so tired of all of this. This is not what I sighned up for when I got married. I think if she says I want a d. I would say great I will contact a lawyer tommorow type thing.
I think I will try and do a better job of validating her and talking with her about stuff. Trying to fix things just enjoy them. That is what brought her back last time maybe I just need to conentrate more on that.
I know im all over the place with this post but I don't know if I have the energy to fight this battle much longer. The other thing is I don't even know if this battle is even worth fighting anymore.
seems your wife is still unhappy with a lot of things within herself, maybe doesn't even know what it is exactly she is unhappy about. And what is the easiest thing to blame this discontent and unhappiness on? Your spouse of course.
Your frustration is loud and clear in your posts and after all your hard work YOU need to recharge your energy by finding something that gives YOU pleasure.
Have a think about what you were doing when she turned around to come back before. Can you start doing more of that again. I suspect you had detached quite a lot and were doing things for you and your daughter, rather than for your wife?
Quote: As in today When I got up from work W asked me if I would stay home so that she could get some sleep. I said "sure I hate work anyway." So I stayed home. Took my D to school. Went and picked her up. Went to see when my W was getting out of bed this is around 4:00 PM. Asked her if she wanted to go to the Gym with me. She said she didnt know and to stop bugging her because she was tired. After 9 hrs of sleep. So I asked her if she had been taking her pills she got irritated(sp) with me and said yes she had. So I left and went to the gym when I got home at 6:30 she had finally got out of bed 12 hrs later. I didnt say anything about it to her. Thinking to myself if I had done what she just did she would have ripped me a new on. But its ok for her to do these things.
Lee - can't you see that this is a sure sign she's not on enough thyroid medicine yet? Let's review the symptoms of hypothyroidism again - fatigue, weakness (don't even BOTHER to try to get her to the gym until her levels are back to normal - I used to get so frustrated because I would try to lift weights and I just couldn't build any mucscle AT ALL - now my arms look like Linda Hamilton's in Terminator 2 ), mental confusion, depression. Don't make the mistake of thinking she is doing these things consciously - it is her DISEASE you are seeing. At the extreme, untreated thyroid disease can put you into a COMA.
Have you bought that book, the Thyroid Solution by Ridha Arem yet? Have you called her doctor to let her know all the problems tyour wife is having? Can you get her in to get her blood tests drawn so they can increase her dose? Don't rely on your wife to manage this, she can't think her way out of a paper sack right now, I'm telling you.
Would it blow your DB cover if you told her you had a friend who was a doctor with thyroid disease who would be happy to email her? Maybe hearing some of it from me would help her.
Patience, patience - it's an invisible disease, that's what makes it so confusing for you, but I can tell you, her motor is probably only getting about 1/4 of the gasoline it needs to function right now.
P.S. Treat her with all the compassion you would if she had cancer. This is not something she can "will" herself out of. She will get better, but it will take time and your support.
), mental confusion, depression. Don't make the mistake of thinking she is doing these things consciously - it is her DISEASE you are seeing. At the extreme, untreated thyroid disease can put you into a COMA.