Can you start a success stories page about SSM problems. I went to the Success Stories page and it seemed to be mostly about people that are avoiding divorce. I could sure use some success stories about how to fix a SSM before it gets to divorce.
Hey CeMar- Maybe you should try to email Michele directly, or her assistant. I get the impression she doesn't visit these boards that often.
I think success stories would be a great feature. As I think you've said here before, the successes are rare, and sometimes short-lived, and probably should be called "successes" rather than successes (without the quotes), because they are little victories, not life-changing revelations. Most would seem to be an internal attitude change within the HD's mind, not a big change in the bedroom.
I also agree it might be a good idea to have a success stories section.
We should bear in mind that everybody's definition of "success" is going to be different. This is about finding a compromise between two people who want very different things. The middle ground may not be what you imagined it to be, but it would be something that made you both happy.
I am happy with the way our R is now and the way our sex life is. Even tho it is not the love life of my fantasies it is enough. I was not happy before I found the ssm and this BB so that is what I would call success on it's own. Infact I think some others have had more success in improving their sex lives, but I don't believe they are actually any happier than I am. Just better looking.
It's true this is not any easy problem to solve and some people are not going to be able to solve it. I think that at some point you do need your partner to be willing to help and make some changes. If they won't or can't maybe that is when it won't work. However if your partner loves you as most of them do then with some time and effort you will probably get somewhere. It may not be where you intended to go, but it will be somewhere better than where you started out.
I am also grateful to Michelle just for starting up this BB. It has been a real help to me just to know that I am not alone in my problems and to have an understanding group of people to talk to.
So far, from what I have read, success is RARE. What is success with this anyway. I want GREAT sex everyday, she wants it never. If we manage to get it to twice a month, is that success. NO!!! Twice a week, MAYBE!
THen the REALLY hard part, can they DESIRE it? This is where it usually falls apart. If sex is going to be a chore for your spouse, they will ALWAYS lose interest in it. I don't see how anyone can keep doing something frequently when they are not interested. The key to success is to make sex as EASY and ENJOYABLE for the LD spouse as possible. Can you imagine a husband sitting with his wife and she wants to have a heart felt discussion, and the Husband says, "You know, I really don't like talking to you, but I know it is "YOUR" need, so I guess I will talk now. Can we take CARE of you now, I'm tired." Gee, I wonder where I have heard this before.
Yea, we guys are taught from an early age to be a certain way with ladies. Do this, dont' do that, say this, don't say that. We are taught early on that rules for us as men are simple. Rules for us with the ladies are very complex. I have heard more than once that the practice of law was initiated as a mechanism to control interaction bewtween the sexes :-)
God help us if cyborg compantions ever become available for men and women. Women will be seen driving around with their cybermale companions constantly hovering around them telling them how wonderful they are and how lucky the robot is to have her.
The guys will keep their female cyborg companions in the trunk, and only take them out when they are needed.
<Big Grin>
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Quote: Women will be seen driving around with their cybermale companions constantly hovering around them telling them how wonderful they are and how lucky the robot is to have her.
Mine wouldn't be doing this. I would find it exceedingly irritating. But I think he would have to kill those disgusting cave crickets.
Seriously though....ick, what a horrible description of men and women! They both are portrayed as just using the other. MPT
Hey folks, it was supposed to be funny, hence the smiley faces and the Big Grin
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
