Well Shucks - I was hoping I could get a little more time on my last thread before I got locked out. But since JJ got me I guess I have to start another one. Anyway - here is the link to the old one. The Wall Starts to Fall
I know we played on your thread and I read and post to you, but have I ever just simply and straight forwardly told you that I think you are doing an absolutly wonderful, awesome job with yourself and Cindy?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Pam - thanks so much for your support - in looking back I realize that it was just over 2 months ago that I read DR and started the DBing, and only one month since D-day.
While I have noted a lot of very positive steps, and I am further along on rebuilding that I had ever hoped to be, I do get very discouraged from time to time when she does not respond as quickly as I would want. In looking at some of the other threads and I see that some of you have been DBing for months and months and some even for years, I wonder if I have the patients to keep DBing for that long. But then I see the progress and the baby steps made in the other threads, it give me the courage and the patients to go on.
So Thanks again for your support it gives me the courage to go on myself.
Well - even though I am kinda giving her some space to think about this last weekend, she did call two times last night and I did rate another call during a commercial during 24. she only talked just enough to say she was feeling better, headach gone and slight fever broke and she had had two cosmos, then the commercial was over and she went back to the show.
Something I read somewhere said that you can't truly make forward steps without being thoroughly tested after each step. I think that is what is happening here. Regardless how comfortable you feel, your W is scared to death. She made decisions, she moved forward in her life (with the D) and now she is saying she was WRONG? Of course, she has to say the friend stuff, etc. She has to save face a bit.
I wonder if the depression you both had the following day was because of too much too soon, not enough time to process what you were feeling, not being tentative enough, not testing enough. She feels vulnerable and has to recoup... may not mean anything at all. The one thing it does mean is PATIENCE. Give her the space she is asking for. No pressure. Be kind and loving. Be there for her when she calls.
You are doing remarkably well... I AM one of those that have been DBing for months... keep me in your prayers!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
