Things are going pretty well. Should I put a summary in this thread? Things are already so much better!!
THEN:
Sitch:My husband & I got married after dating for a year and a half. We have now been married for 2 years and 3 months.
My concern is getting along with my husband and my inability to do so. I get very jealous, insecure, dependent, and needy. I am very affectionate and like to spend time with H. I have gotten into many many accusations against him claiming that he doesn't care about me, or by getting jealous over him talking to old female friends. (Even made scenes in public!)
Initially, he reassured me, but got tired of it b/c I would continue to get upset. Eventually he backed off more and more. Then we would start the uphill swing and I would crash, causing up to take steps back. Then we'd have to rebuild again, and again, and again.
We still spend time together, but he no longer tells me that he loves or cares about me. His time and energy seem to be more spent with his friends and hobbies and bicycling. Then w/me, I get to watch tv with him... ooh aaah. I am trying to be more positive around him, "act as if," and be accepting of him. I know I must be patient as far as not expecting many emotions from him. Sometimes, the walls will start to come down, and he'll be more open with me. Other times, I feel like he just wants me to leave him alone. He says he is still willing to try, but he wants to feel like we are getting somewhere. I feel the same. He can't deal with my incessant crying (I know-who could?) He used to be sweet and tell me that he misses me and leave me messages, and give me beautiful cards on holidays. Now, I am lucky if I receive a compliment.
Now I feel like the more he can be away from me, the better. I feel so hurt at times, that I can't help but cry. I can't handle these feelings of rejection. I know-what I fear-I have created. I just don't seem to have the strength to take care of myself. I want emotional support. However, I feel like I cannot ask for anything anymore. It's like the one person I want to be with the most, I can't be with. (emotionally) I'm sure it will take time, but I just get so impatient. I just want him to tell me that he cares, or that he does want to be with me, but he doesn't.
I have tried some d-b techniques, which have helped. However, I can't seem to stay on the wagon. This week he told me he has plans from Tuesday through Saturday and made no mention of when we would be able to squeeze in any time or plan a special day. I feel dissapointed. He actually acted like he didn't care if we spent that much time apart. I keep learning more and more of how he DOESN'T feel about me. I have nothing positive to go on other than the fact that he is still here. Thanks for reading.
NOW:
This weekend H mouthed ILY first! Ok, so I'm sure saying it outloud can't be far away! H doesn't make as many plans with his friends and actually, I have been the one to say that I am going out! He's acting like he wants to be around me and is appreciating getting along. I hardly cry anymore, and have not been accusing/blaming/irrational. If I have a prob., I am in control of my emo's and ask for clarification, etc. Then I get over it!! The convo lasts 5-15 min. rather than several hours!! I don't do much R talk, although I did bring it up on Friday and it was fine. I let him tell me his opinion of where things are and we moved on. Lots of baby steps here! Some giant, fat baby steps!!
I feel much more secure in myself though I still get some anxiety/jealousy/feel clingy. When I feel this way, I try to stay away from him by doing my own thing like taking a bath, walking, or cleaning another room or something. I try to be quiet, lest I lash out!
Last night I came home after h and he said he had a bad day, "long story," but didn't want to talk about it. I asked if he needed some huggin's and he did. He said, "it's so nice to get along. Are you going to listen to me from now on?" I said yes, but not very believably. (is that a word) and snickered. We chided, I took him to a bar for beer and wings.
He bought me a new remote for the garage door since the second one broke. I had intended on buying it until learning the price. I asked if he wanted money, he said to just buy dinner sunday (groceries-which i buy anyway.) Today he said that he would program it. Yeah!! Now, what can I do for him? He likes the acts of service. He's not big on words. He appreciates GETTING ALONG so QT. Hmmm...If I continue to work on the house...oh, he'd appreciate me doing the xmas shopping for his family...
but what about something romantical? (made up word).
Tonight I told h that I am doing din with a ff. Later I'll have to catch up on my bathroom flying. and...other room!
tee hee! 
JK!
Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'