Regarding going to your IL for Christmas - I had a similar thing occur at TG. My sister had it and asked if she should call my H. I said no, I would pass on the invite and I did. But when the day came, H said that he hadn't been invited. I told him that I had passed on the invitation and told my sister that she didn't have to call. He was sick that day and didn't go anyway, but I know he regretted the excuse later.
So - go, be with your H and kids, have fun and just spend the day imagining all of the IL naked in funny socks. That will keep a smile on your face that noone else will know about!
I see it as an act of outreach from your H. You can meet him halfway. It could be another turning point for you.
I hear you when it comes to getting a break. My H didn't take kids this weekend either, but I let him know of the plans I had and left the kid duty up to him anyway.
Should my H return, I will continue to seek out my time. I have gotten to enjoy and appreciate the time alone - whether I stay home to get caught up or go on errands or go work out. That cannot change or I will lose my marbles!
Have you ever let your H know that your are a better mom and W if you get your time? I know that I didn't say it out loud and now I do.
Don't hint around about Christmas. That is playing a game that men don't understand or appreciate. Next time you see him face to face - give him a hug, say thanks for the invite and that you are looking forward to the time together.
Have a great day!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Things are really sounding good. I will just on the bandwagon to go to the IL's and act as if. I feel it is a way to show your H that you love him. One thing that helped me with my IL's not saying anything to me when my H left, was to think that maybe they don't know what to say. When my MIL finally said something to me, she could hardly speak, she was crying so hard. My FIL has never said anything to me at all about all this, but my MIL told me she found him watching our wedding video over and over.
As for them watching to see if you do or don't click, try to put this out of your mind. Go and be polite - the suggestion (?Ellie I think had) to pretend they are aquaintences is good.
You are doing beautifully. Stay the course. Your situation is very hopeful, IMHO.
Take care. Have a wonderful holiday if I don't "talk" to you before Christmas ~
Hugs~
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
I went to the ILs and did my best to be fine with it and to remove the huge chip on my shoulder! It was weird, but we survived and H appreciated the effort I made in going. ILs were reserved with me, no hugs or any of that stuff, treated me bit like a girlfriend that was just introduced. Met my two nieces, when SIL would hand them to H or I, he would be Uncle H, I was just Jackie. MIL did do a scramble and got me some X-mas presents, so I appreciate the effort she did make to include me in present time. She tried, I guess that is the most important part. It was very odd, though, watching H open up his presents from ILs and BIL that were all stuff for his new house. I was pretty quiet, didn't really know what to say. But it is over and done with, so that is good!
Trying to catch up with everything, work, house, kids, so will update more on Germany trip and the coming home.
Ellie, I just uploaded the pictures from Boston, will get them to you soon, haven't forgotten, just slow.
glad you made it through the holidays, got your card!! Thanks!
i got hugs from my ILs going and coming but no presents although did get some chocolates from MIL later. They got waw a pair of binoculars with a digital camera built in, can't see the future though, I checked them out.
