After an affair can you really ever rebuild the trust? Do you ever get rid of the little thoughts in the back of your head? Does the alien ever really go away or does it just hide and wait for the next bit of hardship to rear its ugly little head again.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Yes, the alien can go away never to return. I'm a former WAW and I can bet my life today that I'll never be a WAW again and never be tempted by another OM. I'm just not the same person anymore. Unfortunately, in my case, my H gave up too soon and became a WAH himself with an OW but he's yet to make any changes in himself. It can happen, I am proof. But sometimes it doesn't happen, and my STBXH is proof. There are many stories here about both sides. I suggest you read the Piecing forum. Welcome and good luck and remember that as long as you keep hope and make positive changes, anything is possible.
Quote: After an affair can you really ever rebuild the trust?
depends on if you're willing to or not.
Quote: Do you ever get rid of the little thoughts in the back of your head?
I would imagine that the "little thoughts" may always be there until you face them and tell them to screw or decide to wallow in them
Quote: Does the alien ever really go away or does it just hide and wait for the next bit of hardship to rear its ugly little head again.
I suppose a was would say...do they (the lbs) ever actually stay with the changes they've made or do they just wait for the next opportunity to resort back to old ways.
don't take this post the wrong way just trying to make you think a bit.
It just seems like everytime I let my guard down and get comfortable with trusting her the alien comes back. I just dont know what to do anymore. Seems like I am damned if I do and damned if I dont.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Quote: It just seems like everytime I let my guard down and get comfortable with trusting her the alien comes back. I just dont know what to do anymore. Seems like I am damned if I do and damned if I dont.
does your behaviour change when you get comfortable and let your gaurd down? do you resort back to old ways when you get comfortable?
No I dont change my ways. I am still keeping up the loving acts. I still do for her. It just seems the more I start to trust her again the more she starts her old ways again.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Well I should follow my gut more often. You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something is not right. She has being chatting and emailing her former lover. I cant stand by and act as if. A pretend marriage is not a marriage at all. Even though she is 800 miles away from this guy she is in love with him. I told her I can live this way. She has to make a decision Him or me, because its fair to any of us for this to continue. I am at a point in my life where I can stay married or I can be single and I will be just fine. There are plenty of woman out there that want what I have to offer and if she cant see what I have to offer her, then its her loss. One that she will regret forever.. maybe.. I am preparing myself for her to leave. I dont think she will stay past this weekend. I dont know where she will go, we only have my vehicle at the moment. I guess he can fly out here and pack her and the kids up and move her into his home. Gee wonder how long that relationship will last once you put the added stress of the kids into it. I believe that a major attraction to the om is the fact that the kids werent part of it. He doesnt have any. She didnt have to worry about our kids because I was at home watching them. Hell at one point she was ready to just drop her kids from her first marriage with her ex and our son with me and run to him. But that was months ago. Seems like years ago since she was like that. She told me this morning she feels like she is in a prison and she wants to be free. So be free. Run away. Run from your problems instead of facing them. She suffers from bulemia. I have tried to support her. But she is just so far gone into it, I just dont know what to do. She wont get help for it. I think because she is embarrassed to have to confess to someone about it. Doesnt want to face the truth. Thats why she wont go to the dentist because her teeth will tell the answers to what she is doing. I half expect to find her some night after dinner in the bathroom in a puddle of blood after rupturing something. We have a lot of problems but she wont seek out help. Its easier to run and hide from the problems. She is such a beautiful woman, all she can do is tell me how fat she is and dispute what I have to say about how she looks.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
She has three kids will not let her take him. Thats my son and all be damned if another man that she cheated on me with is going to raise my son. Kev...
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Well bomb dropped again last night. I dont love you. I never loved you. yada yada... You all know what she says... I am lost... I just dont know what to do.. I dont have the stregth to do this again..
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
