The talk went well, we have agreed that we are (In H's Words Courting) Lol
Heres how it all went ( For anyone that is interested lol)
We got to pub, got drinks, something to eat. We started talking all the mundane stuff, this went on for quite a while, was almost time to go home, when H siad, " So we gonna talk?" I said "Well was what we came out for" H said " Go on then" I said " I dont really have nothing to say " Then H said " I dunno wether I wanna talk, I dunno what I wanna say " We kinda laughed about all this and had a little joke going on about the fact we had come out to talk but none of us could lol.
Anyway, we eneded up going home, got back to house. Sitting outside house in the car, I said " So, you dont want to talk then ? " he laughed and said " Oh I dunno". I then said you comming in ? he said is that an invitation ? I said you dont need invitation H .
He said ok, Ill come in. Got inside, sitting on sofa, he kept falling asleep on my shoulder, so I said what time you gotta get up ? he said, I dunno ( his favourite word) lol. I said so, get up half hour earier and go home ?? he said is that invitation for me to stay. I said get up those bleedin stairs lol.
Any way, I will leave the next bit out
Ok Morning .
I got up, got D 8 up, make coffee, take H's up to bed, get back in bed then guiess what?? he starts to talk !!!!
I am supposed to be in work in 3/4 hour, H is talking
Any way heres the talk.
I think I said s=omething cant remeber what though, to which H replied
Im confused Me: what about? H I duuno ( lolololol) Me: pleas try help me understand H: Ok, I like being with you, I mis you, I look forward to spending time with you, But I dont know if this is all because of my situation ( Meaning living in a pokey little flat with no company). Me: I understand that H, I feel much the same, If we ever were to get back together, I want it to be for the right reasons, I am happy to continue the way we are, what I dont like is when we go one way then the other. I am not waiting for some kind of commitment from you, its just when we went on holiday things happened between us, then when we got back it all stopped, then three weeks later it starts up again, I want to know where we are. H said : ( I couldn't beleive this ! ) he said " Sue things were always gonna happen on that holiday Me: Where they?? I hadent aticipated that. H Said : Oh Sue it was bound to Me: Well I never felt like that, 6 months prior, you had told me you dont love me and din't want to be with me, why would I anticipate anything happening on that holiday ? H ( Laughing) Sue we were practically in same bed!! Me: ( Laughing) well I didn't antisipate it, Im glad it did, But was not anticipated by me. Me: I have said this before but I am going to say it again here, I said if you are unsure about your feelings for me I just want to say that, we are never going to have that " In love " feeling H, we have to work nnow, its like a rose, its gotta be waterd every day. H: yeah I know Me: So dont expect to feel head over heals in love with me. I then said TBH H Im not sure how I feel, things have changed for me, I know I love you but I feel different, I need to know we are getting back for right reasons, if that doesn't happen Im strong enough now to move on, so Im happy the way we are. H looked a bit shocked at this, I must say hye also looked slightly worried. It was getting late and I said I have got to get up go work, jhe said I know. I then said..... gawd I cant beleive I said this. I said " what we going to do about your MLC H said Im not having MLC, I said ( Laughing) You are, I then quickly added H Its just a transition in life, I have been through it. H said, so tell me about it. I said I will give you a book, will you read it ? H said <Sigh> yeah. This was all said very light hearted and fun like.
I got up. H then said so where are we then?? are we courting?? I said " yeah, and I kinda like that. H said: I do too I said, we never really did that did we? H said: No Then I got the book ( Awakening at midlife ) this is very good book and i felt a little less intimadating to H than Men in midlife ( Might give him that one later ) Then He got up got ready before he went he kissed me and said " when we going out next then? "
I said : when you free? H said: wed I said ok can we talk more H said definatly
While I have not had the chance to become familar your story, I do recognize your ID from over in Hopefulness. Sounds like you are making steady progress with some pretty positive results. Look forward to hearing some more...
Thesane: i am so glad bc your situation...enjoy the night, and try one night or another not to talk at all about the past, crisis, etc... and only enjoy the moment... it is like a rest in the long road you need to walk together... Andrea
He now feels comfertable to sit and hold my hand in the cianama
Every now and again giving it a tight squeeze
We went for something to eat before hand and I askled him if he had read his book I gave him, He laughed and said I have had no time. I laughed and said ok, but its your homework for this week I want it in by Sunday He laughed and said I promise to read it.
The rest of the time we just talked small talk,No R talk
He discussed the weekend, and asked if I would like to spend time with him, Firstly on Sunday, to go to boat show, I declined that offer, saying would be difficult with me Mum ( She has Alziermers). Then he asked would I like to go out to eat Sat night with him and D. I said I ha been invited to a housewarmingh party, My nephew. ( all my family would be there) wasn't sure if he wanted to come, H hasn't seen my family since the bomb.
I told him you are invited if you want to come, He said yeah Ill come
I said " I dont really have nothing to say "
I received a text from H Saying : Good night 
