Working and focused but resting from busyness, chaos, people who disrespect me. Resting from working on the M and instead focusing on where I need to be and where I’m going.
Planning to say no to a lot of extra things and rest in an enjoyable holiday season. Making it special for me and my loved ones.
Last edited by DnJ; 11/22/2301:13 PM. Reason: Added link.
Your input is really appreciated. Don’t soften the blows.
Yes i have been guilty of complicating things. I have been learning and listening and adjusting and trying different ways though. Im certainly not trying to scam anyone here or anyone else but mostly i need to be honest with myself. If I mislead myself (i guess that’s denial), I lose.
Those blasted interactions/communications. I don't believe any of it is working towards reconciliation. And yes that M is over that we can all agree on. I am going for self respect and know I deserve better. I dont think this M is worth saving (this is not a M I want) and yet i want neither to drive divorce nor prolong disrespect and wasting these important months and years of my life. Im not ready to make final outcome decisions on this (eg divorce) in this state. I remain open to the idea of restoration annd real reconciliation with her and if im being honest that remains my hope but no longer is my present or future peace tied to that outcome.
I don’t want to be around her or speak or interact with her. But reality is that does happen. So i want to be responsible for how i show up at those times.
I am trying to give lots of space. The barrage keeps coming and I am having a hard time keeping up. It just doesn’t make sense to me and im doing my best to listen, process, and not just react.
When we switched back vehicles today, W let me know she’s not doing well. I asked if she wanted to talk about it and what she needed. She said she didnt want to talk.
I updated W that my upcoming plans had changed and that I would not be away again for a few weeks. I had originally been planning to be away this coming weekend as well. W told me it’s unfair that I get the house and it’s unkind that i now insert myself into her plans to stay in the house with S.
I don’t really know how to go about this.
My plan is to have a great weekend with S and friends and keep on track with where Im going and where I need to be.
On positives, I had a great day at work and that has been going very well. I have been staying on task with home upkeep and maintenance as well as housework and homemaking. Honestly have narrowed my focus a bit with S to prioritize a peaceful inviting home; hearty, nutritious and delicious meals and getting out into nature as much as possible.
The barrage keeps coming and I am having a hard time keeping up. It just doesn’t make sense to me…
What do you mean? What barrage? What do you feel you need to keep up with?
Focus on you. Keep your life on track.
Originally Posted by Rockon
When we switched back vehicles today, W let me know she’s not doing well. I asked if she wanted to talk about it and what she needed. She said she didnt want to talk.
Originally Posted by Rockon
I am trying to give lots of space.
Do or do not, there is no try.
Originally Posted by Rockon
I don’t really know how to go about this.
Focus on you. Keep your life on track. Live in the house. Pay your bills. Do your hobbies. See your friends. Live and love your life! Stay on course! Let W lay in the bed she’s made.
When W laments her lot in life, self imposed lot I might add, simply respond “I’m sorry to hear that.” And go on with your day. As you’ve seen, she doesn’t want to discuss it anyhow. Keep the pressure from you to zero. Let her feel her choices, and her own pressures. Do not attempt to fix things. You didn’t break her, therefore you cannot fix her.
Enjoy the dancing tomorrow. And happy Thanksgiving Rock.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Happy Thanksgiving Rock. I know this time of the year is particularly hard for you. I hope you have a stress free relaxing day filled with new memories.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
