Some uber liberal types think its childish to not be friends. Its a stereotype I know. But watch movies, media. Divorce is glamourized. But that being said. I have one life, and I want to enjoy it from now on. I think there is someone who has been her "friend" for a long time, since 80s. Music, art, always there during tough times. Cinnection via music, art, etc. Used to work together in Tv productuon Channel 5, went to college together, well same time for same program. She has been going to his bands gigs every so often. He has always been a person, red flag type. He is RN. And I even put him in the Navy in the 90s. Corpmsan. I know, as my BIL once noticed, he is always around her. Kids havent said anything about him. But, its done. Just a observation.
I got a buddy that is stuck in the pattern of being a Beta Orbitor. He finally left the orbit of the first one but is now sucked in to another. I try to gently advise him but he is convinced that they will see his value eventually. I also see this behavior by a male patron at my regular watering hole. Its a sad existence.
T
M59 (53@BD) XW56 (50@BD) S26 (20@BD) S24 (19@BD) Married 25 (22@BD) Together 28 BD 9/29/19 (moved out unannounced while I was on fishing trip) W filed 10/19/20 (Informed me via text) D final 11/10/22
But that being said. I have one life, and I want to enjoy it from now on.
Right. This is key. Go live life and enjoy it to its fullest. You can make it whatever you want.
Originally Posted by Mach40
I think there is someone who has been her "friend" for a long time, since 80s.
If you feel it in your gut it's likely true. At the very least he's trying to hang around for a shot at her, if not that she's also interested. Like you said, it doesn't matter now...and see the comment above.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Minor update. I have decides I cant be friends with her. Not healthy. I dont want to see or hear of her new boyfriends etc. Seems childish, but just cant do it. The girls and I get alomg fine. They are growing up and doing their own thing. Grand kids will always be able to see me at will.
I made it clear to my W during our sitch that being "friends" was not an option. She dropped the "I hope we can still be friends" card fairly early on. I told her point blank that it wasn't happening. I have a very good relationship with her, relatively, small family, and I think she saw them wanting to still have a relationship with me. And she has a very good relationship with my family and I don't think she wanted to give that up. I see no point in being friends with an EX. If you have kids, being polite and nice to each other is fine, but being friends? Hanging out as such? Too many entanglements there, and someone new in your life would never understand nor trust it (and rightfully so!).
M40, I think you will find your ability move forward is much easier keeping her at arm's length.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I have been traveling allot, so I eat out allot. And drinks at these resturaunts. I go to car shows, car n coffees. Cars are my passion. I have been on 5 dates with different women. Just enjoying the company amd trying to focus on enjoying time, nothing serious. I havrnt been able to get established at a certain place or city. I am gone from home allot. When home, me amd my grand kids, and oldest daughter go out to zoos, water parks. Places for kids to have fun. Slow process. Not going to stress out. And I have changed up my clothing. More appropriate for attracting people, not t shirts and such anymore, lol. Bought a new car, not part of getting a life, but something for me
Just a little update.. Went to see FIL yesterday after IAN came through South Carolina. He lost power, is 80. Just had to check on him. Nobody asked and he lives a 1.5 miles away. Anyways, he was making mention of his daughter, my ex, was expecting/wanting us to be friends, especially with all the B Days and holidays coming up. I said, nope. Her B day is this week, then Thanks giving, Oldest daughters B day, Christmas... Nope. Talked to daughters and they are okay with separate holidays and such. With one exception. My youngest grandbaby.. She is going to be six. She and I are very close, closer than her own Dad for example. When I walk into the room, she levitates to me.. So, Kids think we need to both be present for the B Day.. Thoughts? I know ex is seeing someone, and I dont want anything to do with seeing him, as it will just really hurt and anger me..
