Ok just got back from L. Said info was good but we have enough so stop. Said reach out to Om wife after settlement which should be soon. Also said that stbxw L is inexperienced and lazy, so that should help us in negotiations. I’m scheduled for hearing at end of next month, so L and I think it’s an incentive for stbxw to settle before then.
I retired as a Senior Detective in law enforcement. I executed search warrants, taped conversations, dug thru trash for receipts, conducted surveillance, trackers, cloned phones, etc. So this is in my blood. I didn’t snoop before I found there was an Om, but after I could not figure out the puzzle, so I snooped. Again I only put the tracker in the car for one day after having it for 4 months.
But what surprises me, and I kind of admire, is Stbxw opsec. She better than some undercover agents I know. She shreds all receipts, only uses a credit card she thinks I don’t know about, sneaks out the door. HAS an RF detector!!! We only had one of those in my office for undercover meets. She messed up a couple times. I found her journal in November, and I think she suspects it, but she put it back and of booby trapped it.
Maybe your background in surveillance is what led her to research countermeasures and discover RF Detectors? I mean, most people do not expect to be bugged, and thus aren't looking into countermeasures!
Maybe your background in surveillance is what led her to research countermeasures and discover RF Detectors? I mean, most people do not expect to be bugged, and thus aren't looking into countermeasures!
Then again, I would like to think most people aren’t cheaters, so don’t really care who knows where they go.
Tech equipment seems to be a dry topic so I never discussed that with her. She may have seen the box the tracker was in because after I bought it, I didnt plan on using it, soI really didn’t hide it. I know Om is a serial cheater so he may have suggested it, but I got the impression it was hers.
Ok just got back from L. Said info was good but we have enough so stop. Said reach out to Om wife after settlement which should be soon. Also said that stbxw L is inexperienced and lazy, so that should help us in negotiations. I’m scheduled for hearing at end of next month, so L and I think it’s an incentive for stbxw to settle before then.
I retired as a Senior Detective in law enforcement. I executed search warrants, taped conversations, dug thru trash for receipts, conducted surveillance, trackers, cloned phones, etc. So this is in my blood. I didn’t snoop before I found there was an Om, but after I could not figure out the puzzle, so I snooped. Again I only put the tracker in the car for one day after having it for 4 months.
But what surprises me, and I kind of admire, is Stbxw opsec. She better than some undercover agents I know. She shreds all receipts, only uses a credit card she thinks I don’t know about, sneaks out the door. HAS an RF detector!!! We only had one of those in my office for undercover meets. She messed up a couple times. I found her journal in November, and I think she suspects it, but she put it back and of booby trapped it.
The more you post the more you frighten me. Your wife is not a suspect, she's a woman that was unhappy trying to make herself happy. You're lack of empathy, and desire for revenge makes me wonder where you'll draw the line. These things have a way of turning ugly, I'm afraid you'll be willing to do just about anything to have the upper hand. That's the frightening part.
Let her go. Move forward with your life. Find someone that loves and appreciates you. Let WW and her OM go find their own way. As LH says the odds are against them lasting long term.
Finally Nick, get into IC and work through your feelings constructively. Because so far you're doing it in unhealthy ways..
Last edited by SteveLW; 03/16/2108:59 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
This is like a movie! The retired detective and his WW booby trapping her journal and sweeping for bugs. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't find this entertaining but I can't help but imagining you guys trying to one-up each other on this. Maybe she was never really an MC but is actually a deep undercover government agent who has been lying to you all along! Her counseling work is just a cover! And maybe the OM is a sting operation and once she gets the OM to confess to treason she'll fall back into your arms and say it was all a ruse to save the world and you'll tell her you knew it all along.
Anyhoo... Glad to hear the L told you to stop snooping and sincerely hope you do. And, agree with the others on the damaging side of all of this. Yes, she's a weak and selfish person who is blowing up your lives for weak and selfish reasons. Good riddance. Why on earth would you take a vacation with the kids to a place you know she's been with OM? Go somewhere totally new and make new memories with your kids. Trying to F with her head by vacationing there and going into the garage (though I don't quite understand what happens in there... do you have it bugged or something?) is just another form of attempted control. Trying to make her feel guilty or freaked out or realize what she's doing... that is all about her.
Of course easier said than done, but I just want to add my voice to the others about trying to stop this behavior and refocus your energies on yourself and your children. Put yourself in your own shoes ten years from now and imagine explaining your behavior to a mutual friend... do you really want to say that you tried to ruin her career and sent a file of damaging evidence to the OM's LBW? I kind of doubt it.
Hang in there. This is all incredibly difficult. I have faith you can rise above the feelings that are driving you to engage in these unhealthy behaviors.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
Why on earth would you take a vacation with the kids to a place you know she's been with OM? Go somewhere totally new and make new memories with your kids. Trying to F with her head by vacationing there and going into the garage (though I don't quite understand what happens in there... do you have it bugged or something?) is just another form of attempted control. Trying to make her feel guilty or freaked out or realize what she's doing... that is all about her.
Ha ha the vacation idea was actually the worst idea I’ve ever had! Well deserved 2x4s
As for the garage, I was in and out of it a couple times placing the tracker. I was lazy because it normally goes in a waterproof box held by a magnet underneath, but I just stuck it in a seat pocket because I knew no one would be in the back seat. But her bedroom is on the other side of the house, so she must have been really paying attention to notice what I was doing. My intel shows that she is really paranoid and frazzled but that was the only thing I did with the car. But I stopped. The funny thing, in law enforcement you have to usually do a bunch of things to get any results, but this was paydirt on the first time.
IDK what they are actually hiding I told her many times I know she has a boyfriend. I heard him on the phone in October and confronted her immediately. Maybe it’s they just don’t want his wife to know.
And I may disagree with Steve, that if it wasn’t this Om it would have been another. This guy is a manipulator and has had a huge hold on her in the past, so it’s like she never got over him even though they were apart physically for years. They have a godson together, his nephew.
As for the movie, a fed agent who I used to work with wrote a screenplay but it’s all action no human story. So we might try to incorporate my sitch but I think only regular readers of this board would believe it.
Oh, and journal wasn’t literally booby trapped. I just meant that it was placed in a specific way so you could tell if someone moved it. She did that when I “burned” an obsolete intel source trying to get her to admit something. She said I was trying to use my investigator mumbo jumbo on her, which I was actually doing.
And I may disagree with Steve, that if it wasn’t this Om it would have been another. This guy is a manipulator and has had a huge hold on her in the past, so it’s like she never got over him even though they were apart physically for years. They have a godson together, his nephew.
So the OM forced your W on his c..k? The point here is that it is your W's fault, the OM may be a douche, but your W could easily deflect his advances. You said it yourself, he is a serial cheater.
