Good question. I would assume not. If remarrying is off the table, I would think sex outside of marriage would be a big no no too...
I don't want to get into a religion discussion, but I will say this. I think it is silly to deprive yourself of having a happy, healthy relationship in the future based on some ancient scripture. I'm Christian myself, and I believe God wants us to be happy. He gave us free will, and with that comes mistakes. It doesn't seem right to be forced to lived a single life because of a bad choices made by either individual in the relationship. You can't force someone to be with you either. So if they up and leave and you've done nothing wrong, you're doomed to a single existence. I'm not down with that, and I don't think God is either. Not telling anyone what to do, just my 2 cents...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I was looking at a life of being single due to my deeply held spiritual beliefs. Even with that, I had to let go, let her go, let her figure herself out, and focus on myself. If I had continued to pursue her I believe I would be divorced, and single, today. However, my faith in God was such that I knew that no matter what happened, I was going to be ok! Trust Him!
I just saw your thread here. H and I passed our 28th in March.
H is still living here, at home in our D25's bedroom. On our anniversary, there was no acknowledgement from either of us.
My family ( who still is unaware ) did contact me to tell me Happy Anniversary but that was it. With stay at home orders, especially in March, it has been somewhat easy to avoid people.
That evening, our D25 wanted to watch a movie, and we all watched. H has since retreated back into his "fantasy life" and has OW2 out of the country, which again, thanks to the pandemic, he is unable to travel to see her.
It is hard. I know. Try to do something for yourself, you can acknowledge to yourself it is an important day, but it definitely is different.
It's Father's Day here tomorrow. S16 called to make some arrangements (the kids are with W this week). W was nearby as S16 checked some details with her, but she didn't say a word to me so I didn't say anything either.
W dropped off the kids and their gear early this afternoon. She helped carry some of the things inside. D13 was in a cross mood and gave some lip to her mother. I naturally told her not to disrespect her mother, as W simultaneously said something similar. W then snapped at me that she didn't need me to help her correct her (meaning our!) daughter. I can't remember my reply to that now, something about both of us being D13s parents. W said some other angry remark back to me and then left.
Opened Father's Day cards and gift from the kids. First time celebrating without W being part of it, though she must've helped them buy the things or at least get to the shops.
S16 took me to see 'Tenet' at the movies for Father's Day (meaning I drove and I paid, of course!). : D
Made dinner for the three of us and played some games with D13 until their bedtime. End of Father's Day.
Other happenings:
Our pastor tried to organise a meeting with W but it was cancelled. I don't think they will be meeting any more.
I've been told W has been searching out old girlfriends who are divorced. I assume W is seeking reinforcement/approval of her position.
W also apparently intends to leave our church once the covid lockdown is over.
Our pastor told me that he and his wife had been 'increasingly mystified' over our situation each time they met up with W to discuss things. He said our problems were largely the kind of things that beset most married couples in one way or another, and could be resolved or at least worked on with enough understanding to make the marriage work. It was nice to hear this from someone who has heard from both sides, but the reality is it does not change my W's perspective so neither does it change our current trajactory.
My Father in Law called me at the start of the week to see how I was doing. He said W had written to him a few weeks ago. He mentioned her email included things like "you don't know what I've been through all these years" and "I'm only just coming to terms with what really happened in our marriage". W also made a comment that we get along much better now than when we were together. ?? - we are barely interacting.
