All I need to do now if I have the slightest temptation to respond to him or initiate contact is picture his face with the complete lack of emotion. That is who he is. He is NOT the man who loved me and adored me even when I just couldn't be myself.
And picture him WITH HER. And know that everytime you reach out to them they are having a good time laughing over how desperate you are. Like I said earlier, I don't want to give my H and GF any indication that I give two cents about them.
I did not expect to be back so soon over this --- I've apparently opened a big can of worms in the worst way... stirred the hornets nest.
I'm going to need some guidance - he just blew up my phone.
H: So why change now?
H: There is something you need to do, I have asked you for some time and you have yet to do it. You have still not learned anything from your self help books.
H: What i mean by that is you have taking money from an account that doesn't belong to you held up and account of money that I have before w got married meanwhile I am paying on a timeshare I won't use and your sons car that I wont use. So what you you learned really?
FYI the timeshare was 100% his purchase choice and he knows it. Whether he uses it or not is not my issue but both of our names are on it. The verbal agreement was he would pay it off and then I would take over the yearly maintenance fees and keep ownership.
The car was his idea all along that he pay off the car and sign it over to my son --- that was guilt talking when he offerred that.
Meanwhile I'm paying on an 11k bed that we just bought... YUP that's right 11k.
^^^^ both of those were an oral agreement as he has no atty and we have no legal binding agreement.
Yes, tech the money was brought to the M with him but the put in a joint account and my atty says its marital funds and I needed leverage so it was locked down.
Apparently my confession of how I'm working on myself triggered something in him... and I'm getting anger for the first time in 2 months. The - so why change now is I'm sure a rhetorical question.
But, he is asking me about the fairness of our agreement. I could offer to take the car payments --- I'm not sure how i could handle it with my son heading to college... BUT, I know that's not what he wants... he wants the 24K. My response - "I hear you." "I will get back to you later this weekend" <<<<<????
You need to set boundaries and quit allowing fear to be your guide.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
He’s manipulating you because he senses your weakness. The desperate move that you made even though we warned you a dozen times that it wouldn’t is now coming back to haunt you. You hold firm and he says “see you’ve learned nothing from those books”. You cave and he gets his money and Ds you anyways.
Please I am begging you to not spin on the “why change now?”
I see what he is doing. I just talked 14hr ago how I'm working on my controlling behaviors and he is suddenly jumping up to give me a final exam???
He feels I'm controlling the separation and divorce?
Can't he get an atty and take the control back?
Its not FEAR right now... its GUILT. I have no anxiety. And nothing to be afraid of... I've been dealing with the threat of D for months now... frankly this is not my top priority as I have a court date coming to get S18 dad to help with college... that's my priority. I was really hoping to push this mess back till Sept.
He knows how to twist my GUILT. I want to please him... that's how I give into him. LH is right he is wanting to play puppet master because he now finally has all the power.
