But how many guys want to settle down again after 20+years of marriage and being single for only 16 months?
Depends on the guy and why the marriage broke down. My ex jumped back into a long-term relationship 9 months after we split (after a previous failed daing relationship where he figured out he didn't want to raise someone else's kid, I think). He's an extrovert and hated living alone and probably figured out pretty quickly that being single and dating wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He married her and they've been together now for 9 years I think.
I think guys who were previously in pretty good marriages (even my ex, who left) look to recreate that. I know guys who were widowed tend to remarry sooner than women.
I don’t want to be like the wolf mans woman. I could not in any way shape or form put up with that. He is in no place to be dating at all. M was not ready and didn’t deal with his demons. I have endless
I’ve done just the boom boom. But I’m finding I need an emotional connection to enjoy unless the guy is drool worthy is smooth as hell. The way into my pants is through my heart these days.
Maybe just play it lightly and seek other guys as well that are out of their divorces a bit longer. Take it day by day and just see what happens. Any one else appealing that you are matching with? Just because you have a second date with someone you are not super excited about, doesn’t mean to stop writing to other guys.
I’m with you in that I wouldn’t want to sleep with someone unless I felt there was a potential for a future. You can ask him on your 2nd date, what he’s looking for and maybe if it’s different just don’t waste your time.
Also my advise to change some stuff up is let him pay on Tuesday. You never let guys do that. But It’s also a establishing your value thing. I loved the advise that hawho gave you - that your not playing games but teaching someone how to treat you. I also like J’s suggestion not to mention that he needs to make plans early with you. Let him figure it out through your actions. And then figure out whether you like him by his actions.
I know I’m one of the more conservative (dating wise) posters on here but I Think there is value to traditional approaches too. Of course it depends on the individuals too.
There’s a lot of guys from here fresher then me in relationships. J9, Ballast, Two Feet, Harvey, wolfman come to mind.
I don’t see why we make such a big deal about boom boom when we are in our 40s and 50s?
I found out quickly that I don't like dating, or at least in the age group that I date in I found all sorts of hidden train wrecks, but maybe that is people in general. I admit I haven't been dating for years rather about 6 months. My exw and I have been done for almost a year and a half now. They lady I am with now well we both were going to give up dating and stay single when we met through a friend. We started hanging out and it eventually all fell into place. Neither of us are looking to get married or blend families. I dunno when you find a someone that likes to do the same things as you all the while treating you nice.... it just works.
I'm in my late 30s and I like all guys enjoy boom boom, however I am no longer like a hound on the scent. Things just changed after D.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
ThAnks for sharing that, two feet. I imagine a guy wants to settle down again, it’s not an impossible thought, even after 16 months separated. I don’t think he would turn a good thing away to go sleep with random internet girls. I think I am just getting ahead of myself and making assumptions. I’m happy to have someone who wants to spend time with me and just enjoy doing stuff together.
We were talking on the phone tonight ( he actually calls me) and he made a joke “ if we end up together .....” so I guess it isn’t out of his realm.
It’s just a second date tomorrow. Sushi and a movie. And he bought the tickets for the movie. I’m going to pay for dinner only because we had a deal. I’m letting him pick me up at my house because it’s too weird to go to 2 different places and have to follow each other . But he won’t be invited in after. Not there yet!
G...if they find the right woman. That's what happened to me....I had some really dark days but I knew the doc was a catch.
Just remember G....make him work for it. He is the man, he should do the majority of the paying at least until you are in an official relationship. When the doc and I go out I still like to pay and she lets me. She makes up for it in other ways but when I take her out I feel it's my responsibility.
Who made the deal that you would pay for dinner (the most expensive part!) and he would pay for Movies?? You gott stop doing that girl.
If he can’t pay for the date at least the first few times out then he’s not interested/financially stable enough for you to date. Let a guy take you out a couple times then offer him a delicious home cooked meal. Going Dutch is fine once you’re in a relationship but you need to let the guy pay the first couple times.
