A bit more background - my daughter and I opened up to eachother and I told her them not being around has me depressed and I really want to to see them. I told her too that mom and I made this plan, and if we couldn't make this plan work, the courts would have to decide for us. That probably cranked up my daughter's anxiety at the time too. I was trying to explain that the W and I made this plan and we did so in there best interest.
The W responded a few mins ago with: "Telling her she "making your depression worse" and telling her we will go to court over it is only increasing her anxiety. You cannot put those things on a 15 year old. She is not responsible for your depression and making her feel that way is cruel. She told me she wants to spend time with you when she is ready. Your forcing he is making things worse.I know its hard for you. The emotional damage being done is hard for me. This is not about us.Its about them and and I will do everything in my power to be there to support and listen to them I will not orce them. We have agreed on that and now you want to force it. I am done with this conversation"
I am starting to think it's time to go the legal route...I'm trying not to upset my kids. I am trying to handle this well, but I don't feel like I am. I'm seriously at my wits end.
Your W is right you should not have told her that and I wonder if you’re not trying to manipulate your W through your kids. You are the dad. You have to be there rock. If dads fine then they will be fine. When your alone and not running around with your new GF then is the time to grieve.
You have some work to do Fireman. Be the rock for your children!
LH - I'm trying to spend time with my kids. I don't have a girlfriend, but man, I do notice when I am totally alone in the abyss, I HURT WAYYYY MORE. I think I (poorly) communicated that to my daughter.
What work do I have to do specifically? Maybe just let things lie for a bit. I feel like my daughter is now the squirrel and I am trying to feed her. No forcing or sudden movements. Let her come to me. Be OK being on my own.
You have to learn to be comfortable alone so you are no longer a prisoner in a relationship. As for your daughter it’s going to take time. Listen to her and validate her feelings. Steve just reported he’s making progress with his daughter after two years of positive exchanges.
Yeah dude, you shouldn't have told her that. Your children are not your therapist. Cry your eyes out when they are not around. When they are around you are the confident, happy, positive dad that isn't bothered by a thing.
To this date my girls know that mommy and daddy broke up but they do not know the details about anything.
