W just asked again if I "wanted or needed" her to bake anything to bring to my family's gathering for Thanksgiving. I just replied, "All set, thanks." She responded with, "Okay, just thought I'd offer." It is a clear 180 for me to not accept her offer. It's some really crazy stuff we deal with here!
Hi W. Good reply. So as I recall, you and the kids will be with your family and she with hers? What are you saying to family?
My thoughts are with you and the kids. Following along.
~Never Give Up ~ 2019 Mar BD June BD Dec Aow/xgf 2020 Jan he wants D Feb he flys2 ow Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn Apr he leaves for work until Nov Oct D FINAL 2020 Living MY Happiest Life Ever
I will have the kids with my family. Unclear where she will be. She said she has two invites from family, along with some "other invites" to consider. I don't know where she is going, and I really don't care. We are telling the kids she will be with her family for a change, as she has missed out many years always coming to my family. This will fly for Thanksgiving, but Christmas will be much tougher to navigate. One at a time I guess.
So tonight’s drama. S11 had bad pain in his right leg. Most likely growing pains (he’s had before). Wasn’t able to move it at all. Contemplated trip to ER. Texted W asking where heating pad was. 20 minutes to respond, then no follow up to see how he’s doing etc. Said phone was in her bag to account for delay in responding. Going to be very difficult to not snap at her in the morning.
So tonight’s drama. S11 had bad pain in his right leg. Most likely growing pains (he’s had before). Wasn’t able to move it at all. Contemplated trip to ER. Texted W asking where heating pad was. 20 minutes to respond, then no follow up to see how he’s doing etc. Said phone was in her bag to account for delay in responding. Going to be very difficult to not snap at her in the morning.
So if you snap at her for it what do you expect the outcome to be?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I know it will just push her further away. I wrote that to primarily to vent and get it out. We both kind of sneered at each other this morning. She said her phone was in her bag so she didn't hear it, which I just don't believe. She always has her phone within reach. I just looked at her with a "Really?" kind of look. She said, "What's wrong?" I just tried to fake a smile and said "nothing." She definitely thinks I was implying she was with someone else, unfortunately. Just a lot tension built up. She has since sent some normal texts re: S11 and oil delivery today.
Thanksgiving went just fine. Had good time with kids and my family. Not sure where W spent her day, though it appears she chose her new group of “friends” over her side of the family. We just told people (including kids) that she was going to her sister’s house (a couple of states away) as she rarely sees her family on big holidays.
Could use some advice on what to do moving forward toward Christmas. Include/invite W to annual traditions? Tell her she’s made a decision to no longer be a part of this family and don’t invite her? Just feeling stuck on this. Thoughts and opinions welcomed!
Because you’re not dealing with a disrespectful WW and no paper work has been filed IMO it is ok to invite her along. Just don’t get butt hurt if she says no.
W came over to put up Christmas tree with kids yesterday. Friendly, chatty. She said during some small talk that her sister invited her camping next July, and that she couldn’t even think about what’s happening this Monday, let alone next July. Also misremembered something while we were chatting and corrected herself after saying she misremembered because of her “fog.”
Thinks remain cordial, no R talks. Just GAL-Ing and following DB rules as best I can.
