Is it possible to go stay at someone’s house for a few days to see if she cools off? She’s spiraling right now and having an empty house for a week or so could help her hit rock bottom. If she can hit the bottom, she may start to think a little more clearly and realize she has to pick herself up and figure out what she really wants. Just a thought before you rush into anything. I suggest you take a few days before making any big decisions.
Jr45 with all respect please be careful about giving advice that you really are only guessing on. You are soooooo new into this. Have you even been able to read the books yet? Just be careful.
Leaving the house is most always suggested against. Unless you believe your safety is at risk it is best to stay in the house. You really need to slow down. I can just sense you reacting on emotion and it will be to your detriment. Why are you still discussing this with her? You are not going to change her mind. Stop engaging. Stop all R talks. Stop talking to her. Nothing good will come from it. You need to slow down here. You are upset and want to act and it could really harm things. There is nothing you have to do or say today that can’t wait.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Jr45 with all respect please be careful about giving advice that you really are only guessing on. You are soooooo new into this. Have you even been able to read the books yet? Just be careful.
Leaving the house is most always suggested against. Unless you believe your safety is at risk it is best to stay in the house. You really need to slow down. I can just sense you reacting on emotion and it will be to your detriment. Why are you still discussing this with her? You are not going to change her mind. Stop engaging. Stop all R talks. Stop talking to her. Nothing good will come from it. You need to slow down here. You are upset and want to act and it could really harm things. There is nothing you have to do or say today that can’t wait.
Understood and I’ll back off but as a father of D9 and S7, I feel well equipped to give parental advice when safety is concerned. My kids’ well being will always be my first priority over myself, my W, and my M.
Im definitely reacting with emotion. I can see that now.
Moving out = making me feel better, but not necessarily good for my son. I understand.
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Stop engaging. Stop all R talks. Stop talking to her. Nothing good will come from it. You need to slow down here. You are upset and want to act and it could really harm things. There is nothing you have to do or say today that can’t wait.
Thank you DonH. Though, what exactly am I waiting for? That I'm unclear on. Seems like it will be the same old stuff, different day unless I do something different. She didn't honor my boundary and immediately put all of her stuff back in the MBR after I put it in the guestroom. We're still sleeping the same bed. There were no consequences for her.
If felt good moving her stuff, but that lasted just a couple hours.
What is my next power move? What are some other action items for me to take to show her that she is being disrespectful and I will not tolerate it? Right now she is full blown in her A with another woman, and she also has the comforts and security of this home. Isnt she cake eating? I feel like i'm enabling her to do whatever she wants. I KNOW that I don't want to be around her. She brings me down whenever I see her. What am i waiting for?
As is very often said, this is a marathon not a sprint! You are clearly running a sprint. By all means things may not change with your wife. But you coming down thinking about this and reacting rationally will change you, and you are the only one that you are in charge of. There is nothing that you will do today that you can’t do next week after calming down and thinking about it. And I will bet you serious cash you will be thinking differently on Monday then you are now. Don’t put yourself in the position of regretting your actions. Start running the marathon. Don’t burn yourself out in the first lap.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
As is very often said, this is a marathon not a sprint! You are clearly running a sprint. By all means things may not change with your wife. But you coming down thinking about this and reacting rationally will change you, and you are the only one that you are in charge of. There is nothing that you will do today that you can’t do next week after calming down and thinking about it. And I will bet you serious cash you will be thinking differently on Monday then you are now. Don’t put yourself in the position of regretting your actions. Start running the marathon. Don’t burn yourself out in the first lap.
Understood DonH. Thank you.
Maybe wanting to move out ASAP is just me saying,"Look W, I won and am getting the F away from you so you will feel bad about yourself." Maybe it is about "winning" and not necessarily the best thing for my son or my sitch (right now).
