I’ve got a couple challenges going on now. So I thought it appropriate to change thread names
Thanks for all the support guys. I just asked if she wanted a backrub last night just to be nice because if her bad day. She said no she wanted to go to sleep but was thankful I asked. Turns out she wasn’t playing around about how bad her boss is. Her boss just recanted letting W have half the day off after concert. W said it’s so miserable up there now she is thinking of quitting. This is why her attitude lately
On the cancer front. I gave green light on treatment plan.
Temozolomide chemo every day for a year. Blood draws every two weeks. Doctor said he is very optimistic this will work.
Since it’s inoperable he says it’s 70% chance of being more cancer. 30% chance of it being radiation damage from previous treatment in ‘15
Oz, you really need to pay attention to what’s going on with you now.
You are going through cancer treatment and need lots of self care. And your wife is getting all the back rubs?
And when you said “wow, her day was really bad, I figured something awful was going on.
She can’t have her half day off after a concert?
Not for nothing, I expect a teenager to get upset at that. Especially with what’s going on, not really a big deal. Put your big girl panties on and wake up in the morning and go to work and call your boss an agile behind their back.
I do not like to invalidate anyone’s struggles. What might not seem like a big deal to me, might be a big deal to someone else. But I’m sensing a lot of immaturity on her part and lack of compassion for you.
Do not initiate any more backrubs. Be present, but you need to care for you.
There’s a lot more going on in her job than that. People cussing each other out. Backstabbing. Drama. It sounds miserable to me. But the lack of compassion part you are right.
There’s a lot more going on in her job than that. People cussing each other out. Backstabbing. Drama. It sounds miserable to me. But the lack of compassion part you are right.
Except for the cussing out, this is background noise. There's competition for the best roles/pay. If your wife repeatedly shows up late and has been formally reprimanded for it, that's a sign she's not working so hard for the next rung at her job's ladder, that a "backstab" should even be on the same page as cancer.
I earn a top 5% income. I've never spent much time thinking about office gossip. I know some delight in discussing who outmaneuvered who and who's getting the next promotion.
W and I have returned to the way we were before my MRI. Like best friends. She still msgs on her phone quite a bit. I know a lot of times it’s family and friends. But I’m not sure about all the time. I have a hunch it’s not. And someone on here told me that LBSs hunchs are usually right. The thing is. There is nothing I can do about it is there? Anyways. Besides that everything else in her behavior says not A. It’s just the msging thing. And it really could be nothing. I know a lot of people who FB msg her. Also I feel like I don’t have time for this right now anyways. I need to be 100% focused on me and my health. But at the same time not letting any of that show to her
Had a great weekend. Chiefs won! Sat evening I loaded up the dogs and the boy and went to the park. Threw the frisbee and the football. Had a blast!
So cancer aside. I need some advice. I did what you all said. I stopped talking to her about my cancer as soon as I did things got way better again. I’ve covered many things with the doctor. Made several decisions. All without speaking a word about it to her
Then yesterday she asks about it. I tell her “I’ve spoken with doctor several times and I got my blood drawn today and I should start chemo by the end of the week. She explodes. But not in anger
Her. WHAT?!? You didn’t tell me any of this?!? Why wouldn’t you say anything?
Me well the last time I brought it up you said it was my decision and you seemed very stressed out so I decided to keep it to myself
Her. it does stress me out , living here stresses out, our S stresses me out, my job stresses me out. But you should still tell me. I AM YOUR WIFE! WE ARE MARRIED! WE HAVE A KID TOGETHER!! (Tears are starting in her eyes). You have to tell me these things.
me. I am sorry. It just seemed you had enough on your plate ATM and you told me it was my decision
We then walked outside and I filled her in on everything. She has been “clingier” lately. I was shocked.
