Maybe I know what to do 6

[ozman]

Old thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2859539#Post2859539

I did what you said. I told my mom she needed to stop. I told her to wait to be invited to come to my house. She got very upset. At one point she told me she wished she hadn’t given birth to me. I told her I would not be disrespected and I managed to end the convo on a high note. She agreed to wait until invited. She also agreed to not bombard my W

R2C I am trying to follow your advice. I am just slow. But I WILL get there. Please don’t give up on me.

ANOTHER STANDER. I’m back to plan A. I will not post here tomorrow except about GAL or R2Cs excercise on how to make my self more attractive

My GAL this evening is I went took shopping with a buddy. It was fun. I had a good time and didn’t think about W

I decided to try to flirt with cashier for practice. It was terrible. HAHAHA.

Please stick with me guys. I’m worth it

[Ready2Change]

R2C I am trying to follow your advice. I am just slow. But I WILL get there. Please don’t give up on me.

Do you understand how I set the boundary? Explained how I would respond in the future based off your choice of behavior. Most of the time I believe the words are important to say to help reduce confusion. During DB period, your actions will send the message.

[Ready2Change]

I decided to try to flirt with cashier for practice.

You need to pick your target carfully. Then timing is important.


Right now, practice making the cashiers,waitresses,hostesses,delivery people laugh. Or get them to realize you are not boring.


Cashier:"How are you?"
OZ:"Better now that I got the bleeding to stop" Wink

At that point watch them very carefully They will be shocked and confused by this response. They expect "Fine" or "Good".

Depending on how they react, you can go in any direction with the convo you want.

Right off the top of my head:

OZ:"I cut myself shaving this morning" Smile.

OZ"My wife broke my heart." Pouty face, small pause. "But I put it back together" smile.


These are just of the cuff. You can come up with what ever.

[ozman]

Thanks for advice R2C. That was the first time I’ve set a real boundary. It felt strange telling my mom that but I didn’t get sucked into an argument. I just kept convo solution based. It was eye opening

Pick target carefully you said. What am I looking for ?

Tonight I’m gonna hit up Barnes and Noble and browse through the books. Maybe try to pick up NMMNG That’s my planned GAL. I’ve realized I need to start small with GAL. That will make it easier

I have really picked up the pace at work. I’ve got a little pep in my step. And nothing has changed at home. For the better or the worse. I’m just letting go some I think. I can go most of my work day without thinking about W or whatever she is doing.

Thanks guys!!

GAL revelation. I MUST learn to enjoy my own company

[AnotherStander]

I did what you said. I told my mom she needed to stop. I told her to wait to be invited to come to my house. She got very upset. At one point she told me she wished she hadn’t given birth to me. I told her I would not be disrespected and I managed to end the convo on a high note. She agreed to wait until invited. She also agreed to not bombard my W

R2C I am trying to follow your advice. I am just slow. But I WILL get there. Please don’t give up on me.

ANOTHER STANDER. I’m back to plan A. I will not post here tomorrow except about GAL or R2Cs excercise on how to make my self more attractive

My GAL this evening is I went took shopping with a buddy. It was fun. I had a good time and didn’t think about W

I decided to try to flirt with cashier for practice. It was terrible. HAHAHA.

Please stick with me guys. I’m worth it

Oz, that is the best post you've made in a long time! Stood firm with your mom and demanded respect. Did some GAL and flirting with the opposite sex (even if it bombed at least you tried, and the more you try the better you'll get). Well done! Keep it up!

[TBSakaJ9]

Way to go OZ! Even though your flirting failed just making an attempt is a success!! It helps with your confidence and eventually will help you realize that there are so many amazing women in this world it will make you wonder why you put so much effort and focus on just one.

[Ready2Change]

Pick target carefully you said. What am I looking for ?

What are your intentions? What reaction are you looking for? What emotional state is this person in? Do they appear open? How dod they act with the people before you?

[SteveLW]

I love these last few posts oz because of how little of "her" there are in them!

[Cadet]

Please stick with me guys.

I’m worth it

YAY!

[ozman]

Thanks AS it feels a little strange flirting with my ring on. But I can see how it would be a confidence booster

TB I’m not interested in any other women atm. But I’m sure there are a lot of great ones out there. I shouldn’t be interested in anyone else but myself right now right?

R2C. My intentions are to build confidence and get some skills in the flirting and turning a woman on dept

STEVE. Thank you sir. I want my W back. I really miss her. But unless something really significant happens I don’t see myself posting a lot more about her I think this is because I finally get I have no control over my M right now. The ball is in her court. I can’t control her. And trying to control the situation is just painful and humiliating. So I have a couple options. Keep trying to influence and sway her and beat my head against a wall. Or work on me and enjoy me and enjoy S and focus on my work and fixing my flaws and become a man I never thought I could be.

The second prospect actually seems pretty exciting. The first one seems exhausting (not to mention it hurts my chances of recon anyways)

You posted something once about controlling your own destiny is liberating. I’m starting to feel that way. And I’m not gonna lie I’m pretty pumped.

I hope she finds her way back. But that’s up to her. Not me. I’m just gonna be a light house (a kick a$$ sexy alpha nothing can hurt me lighthouse)

Ps: I think the only thing controlling my destiny right now is this darn toothache. Ugh. I gotta call a dentist. LOL