That just helps you get the juices flowing. It's really just one component of becoming a confident man. Some men are naturally confident other men are not. I am not a naturally confident man so I do things like lift weights, stay in shape, dress nice, etc. to help me with my confidence.
Ozman - yes you have to find this thing for you. Forget your sitch this is for you.
I half started a woodworking hobby a couple years ago. Fortunately I have some of the basic equipment now. I’ve jumped whole hog into a couple projects now and I love it. My mind stays busy, and there’s something about creating something new that just feels good. A friend convinced me to start and I thought... cutting up a bunch of rectangles of wood... how boring....
So this may sound stupid. But I’m just finishing my combine. The baddest mechanic in the shop who has a master designation just asked me how I did a certain part on it. I knew something he didn’t. WOW.
I know it sounds weird but that lifted my spirits a lot.
Why find one thing...try lots of things. Window shop, walk, read, volunteer, music, PT job?, support group. All these things don't take up too much time but just enough to keep you busy...keep your mind from racing.
Again, I am not sure how dire your situation is so I wouldn't leave zero time for your wife, but finding some activities will prepare you either way.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
You reconcile, you separate, you divorce... either way, doing things for yourself will make you better prepared regardless of the outcome.
DB will become more "automatic" when you can start to peel your fingers away from that rope, one by one. You cannot control what happens in your MR. You just can't. Let go of the desire to control outcomes. Easy to say, really hard to do, I'm on my way but not fully there yet.
