I am DB’ing hard, but I wanted to know what the conversation looks like though when we only webchat with our young child. She is always holding the phone, etc. so she is there and tries to communicate.
I have been going dark with everything but this conversation. Any advice?
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL).
DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Your H or W is giving you a GIFT. THE GIFT OF TIME. USE it wisely.
Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon
Me-65, D32,S31
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
We can't assist you if you don't give us more information about your situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hey Hrt, welcome! As the others said we need more info, please read through some of the very first posts in the first threads of others here to get an idea of what we need to help you. Things like your age, her age, number and ages of children, number of years married, date of BD, separated or still under one roof, in same rooms or different, nature of BD, any big life changes that happened that might have precipitated BD, etc.
I am DB’ing hard, but I wanted to know what the conversation looks like though when we only webchat with our young child. She is always holding the phone, etc. so she is there and tries to communicate.
I have been going dark with everything but this conversation. Any advice?
Hi HrtHsbnd. I have a d3. That's great you webchat with your child. It's all about them during these chats. My H is at sea/working until November. Communication is very sparse at the best of times. Do you have visits with your child? In my opinion, the conversations should be the child & parent. And as a parent, I'm guilty of helping or being an interpreter for d3, because she's young. Take a deep breath, remember how much you love you kid, listen...listen...listen smile and tell them you love them. Your proud of accomplishments big or small and they are always in your heart & thoughts.
Treat spouse as a friend or relative. Be pleasant; kids notice everything.
Last edited by CanBird; 06/20/1906:25 AM.
~Never Give Up ~ 2019 Mar BD June BD Dec Aow/xgf 2020 Jan he wants D Feb he flys2 ow Mar returns stuck here C19 Lckdwn Apr he leaves for work until Nov Oct D FINAL 2020 Living MY Happiest Life Ever
We are in our 30’s and a son 5. We’ve been married 8 years and BD was in March. Unfortunately, I left thinking I was doing the right thing because it was only supposed to be temporary. We did have a difficult life change and fought a lot. Our fights started in Sept and went through March.
We have always had an excellent marriage. We’ve always been so close, until the life event. I got the ILYNILWY when she asked for a separation. She was very adamant about needing time and space, even helping me find a place! She went to an attorney that next week, got temporary papers, then filed for divorce. We have had our temporary hearing already. Looking back, I remember text messages on the major holidays in the fall, being very secret with cell phone, not attentive to our family and no nagging!
Swears no one else, just needs time. But I do not believe her. With that said, we both come from very strong backgrounds and look down on anyone that would cheat. That’s really all I’ve got that make sure me think she’s not.
I decided to start working on myself before I found this site. I’ve lost about 30 lbs and want to lose about 10-20 more. I read books, go to IC and research as much as I can. She has not done anything, at all.
I hope that’s all the info you need. This is just devastating....
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Hey Hrt, welcome! As the others said we need more info, please read through some of the very first posts in the first threads of others here to get an idea of what we need to help you. Things like your age, her age, number and ages of children, number of years married, date of BD, separated or still under one roof, in same rooms or different, nature of BD, any big life changes that happened that might have precipitated BD, etc.
I do get to see him. He is my life. I look to God for strength and wisdom and I know as long as I do that and I keep him sheltered by all of this, I’m doing the right thing.
Originally Posted by CanBird
Originally Posted by HrtHsbnd
I am DB’ing hard, but I wanted to know what the conversation looks like though when we only webchat with our young child. She is always holding the phone, etc. so she is there and tries to communicate.
I have been going dark with everything but this conversation. Any advice?
Hi HrtHsbnd. I have a d3. That's great you webchat with your child. It's all about them during these chats. My H is at sea/working until November. Communication is very sparse at the best of times. Do you have visits with your child? In my opinion, the conversations should be the child & parent. And as a parent, I'm guilty of helping or being an interpreter for d3, because she's young. Take a deep breath, remember how much you love you kid, listen...listen...listen smile and tell them you love them. Your proud of accomplishments big or small and they are always in your heart & thoughts.
Treat spouse as a friend or relative. Be pleasant; kids notice everything.
First advice: take your time. Be patient. You told us you’ve started working in yourself. Keep doing that. Have you read Job & Cadet’s first post. You have the DB basics there. Go deep into that info. You need to study them, print and have a copy of all at hand reach.
Weekends are kind of slow. It’s GAL time and we all need to do that a lot.
As I said, be patient. This is a marathon and you are just walking towards the start line. Prepare for the race. You don’t need speed. You need consistency. Live into the present time. What the past is stays in the past. Prepare to grow up as a better person. Your first commitment is to get into the best father you can. But focus into present time. Future means anxiety. You don’t need that.
You are in control of yourself. Start moving forward.
