Keep up that GAL. It helps immensly. I also got to the point where I did not want my EXWW back. Her PA was a dealbreaker. It hurt, don't get me wrong. However, I am doing much better now after D.
Its all a negotiation regarding the Marriage Settlement. My EXWW went and got an attorney immediately once she realized that she would owe me some big bucks. We settled out of court and filed together in the end.
I could have went after stocks, 401K etc. I would have ended up about $50K+ in the green if I did that. However, I negotiated with her to avoid court. I even have a free attorney through work, so my attorney would have been paid for. I settled for about half of what I could have received if we had gone to court. I got 50% custody and exactly what I needed financially to move forward and move out. This is the first time in 20 years I have not owned a home. But its good not to have so much debt. Now I just have my car and a little bit of credit card debt (Hiring a private investigator to catch your WW cheating is expensive, but worth it)
Don't drag it out. Treat it all as a business transaction moving forward. Its a contract negotiation. You both will not get exactly what you want. But you both will end up content with what you do get. Don't be petty, its pointless and drags things out. If you have to go to court then so be it. Make sure she is aware that you have zero issues going in front of a judge. She will threaten you with her attorney. Who cares, legally you are entitled to half of everything.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Thanks for the update, always good to read that. Have you been progressing financially as well?
Yes, financially I have been in a much better state. I have some money stashed away and am almost a month ahead on my bills. Very proud of myself for that. The stbxw has made her final payment on the wedding loan so that is settled. All that's left is this bill she's trying to stiff me with.
Originally Posted by SoTorn
Keep up that GAL. It helps immensly. I also got to the point where I did not want my EXWW back. Her PA was a dealbreaker. It hurt, don't get me wrong. However, I am doing much better now after D.
Its all a negotiation regarding the Marriage Settlement. My EXWW went and got an attorney immediately once she realized that she would owe me some big bucks. We settled out of court and filed together in the end.
I could have went after stocks, 401K etc. I would have ended up about $50K+ in the green if I did that. However, I negotiated with her to avoid court. I even have a free attorney through work, so my attorney would have been paid for. I settled for about half of what I could have received if we had gone to court. I got 50% custody and exactly what I needed financially to move forward and move out. This is the first time in 20 years I have not owned a home. But its good not to have so much debt. Now I just have my car and a little bit of credit card debt (Hiring a private investigator to catch your WW cheating is expensive, but worth it)
Don't drag it out. Treat it all as a business transaction moving forward. Its a contract negotiation. You both will not get exactly what you want. But you both will end up content with what you do get. Don't be petty, its pointless and drags things out. If you have to go to court then so be it. Make sure she is aware that you have zero issues going in front of a judge. She will threaten you with her attorney. Who cares, legally you are entitled to half of everything.
Agreed, I'm trying not to be petty but she has caused me to be out of pocket over $2k so far from this, and I intend to recoup some of that and am not trying to drag it out either, there really is very little that I want from her and she knows what I can get. If she's tries to drag this to the judge then I will go for it all and I've made that clear. So we shall see. Want it done already, especially cuz of my next set of news....
Soooooo, I've been talking with this woman for a little over a week now daily. Conversation has been great, so today I went out on a limb and asked her to go out on Sunday and she agreed. I'm honestly super nervous, it's been 13 years since I've done this but I'm really excited about it too and don't really want to mess it up because she seems amazing. Might just be the excitement making me nervous lol. Gonna try and enjoy my trip on friday-saturday and hopefully calm myself down some before sunday.
M(32) W(30) Together 12yrs Married 2yrs ILYBNILWY 11/23/18 EA Discovered 3/20/19
In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19 W Moved out 3/20/19 M Moved out 5/31/19 W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Mikey, nice job getting your finances in order! Good luck on the date, it's normal to be nervous after not having dated for so long, just try to relax and enjoy it!
So the weekend was great for the most part. The concert was an absolute blast, the house we stayed in was amazing we all had so much fun. Spent the next day at the beach all in all our trip was a blast.
So onto my date, she messaged me this morning to see if we could meet later in the day. We were supposed to get together around noon. So we moved it to 5, no biggie. Well as I was about to leave she messaged me again to cancel. Saying it has been a while since she's gone out with anyone and didn't think she was ready. I had responded saying I understand and no need to apologise and that I would like to keep talking to her. She responded again relieved and that she would love to keep talking.
M(32) W(30) Together 12yrs Married 2yrs ILYBNILWY 11/23/18 EA Discovered 3/20/19
In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19 W Moved out 3/20/19 M Moved out 5/31/19 W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Sry to hear about the date issue. Its seems these days its all too common to have these last minute cancellations. It's just all too easy to do this with sms, internet etc.
Keep talking to this lady, and keep it light, funny and upbeat til you angle in for another actual date invitation. Go for the dinner at a nice restaurant Mikey. Good luck!
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
Sry to hear about the date issue. Its seems these days its all too common to have these last minute cancellations. It's just all too easy to do this with sms, internet etc.
Keep talking to this lady, and keep it light, funny and upbeat til you angle in for another actual date invitation. Go for the dinner at a nice restaurant Mikey. Good luck!
Thanks, and we were able to move on pretty easily from the cancellation like it didn't happen and keep things going which is good. Was a little worried that it might get awkward but I kept things funny and it hasn't even come up beyond the initial messages about it and it's been great so I'll keep things going and see where it goes.
Also stopped by the lawyer's office today, they've got my petition ready just needs to be reviewed by the lawyer handling my case and then it'll be filed with the court most likely this week.
M(32) W(30) Together 12yrs Married 2yrs ILYBNILWY 11/23/18 EA Discovered 3/20/19
In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19 W Moved out 3/20/19 M Moved out 5/31/19 W Filed for D 3/3/2020
