I was led here by ex partner very skillfully. I have strong morals wanted marriage before intimacy. He led me here to the sexless marriage forum and people advising going dark on them. All seems good so far right? He is a very pro Narcissist and used this website to discard me as they do, making me believe it was my fault. Not saying anymore as I don't know if he's a member or just led me here. years of sex and still no marriage. crazy world we live in.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Sorry that you are here, but hopefully you will elaborate on your first post in due time, and then we will be able to provide you with some perspective on, what must be, and has been, a difficult period of your life.
I am not quite sure, how to assist you, as it is a bit unclear to me, what it is, that you are curious about / expect to find here.
Should you have any questions that you want to talk about, then do not hesitate to reach out. Most of us here are wiser from having lived through a very rough patch in our life, and we use that experience to help each other, reflect upon ourselves, our needs and the lives we all deserve. It is truly a gift, to be able to have a place like this, and I hope you will see in time.
Remember this; Staying in the past can keep you from living in the present - so take the good things from the past, and leave the rest where it belongs, in the past.
/H
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
I was led here by ex partner very skillfully. I have strong morals wanted marriage before intimacy. He led me here to the sexless marriage forum and people advising going dark on them. All seems good so far right? He is a very pro Narcissist and used this website to discard me as they do, making me believe it was my fault. Not saying anymore as I don't know if he's a member or just led me here. years of sex and still no marriage. crazy world we live in.
Tas, sorry you're here, but you will get support. I am very sorry for what has been to you, however I have to ask a couple of questions.
If you have strong morals wanting marriage before intimacy, why did you allow years of sex with no marriage? Why did you put up with it so long (no marriage)?
Tas we teach people how to treat us. And there is an old saying, "why buy the cow if the milk is free?" Obviously you can't change the past, but you need to find your inner strength and power, and do better from this point forward! You know you are better than this situation and, sorry, him.
Get into IC. Work on yourself. Your self-esteem seems to be in the toilet. One of the worst things we can do is to let go of our morals for another human-being. It never turns out positively. In the end, we have to be able to put our own head on our pillow and night and sleep comfortably knowing we are living up to our own standards. When we can't do that it makes for a very bitter life.
Tas, you got this. Time to move on and move up!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
