fear of entrapment vs fear of abandonment

[bubbs16]

I was reading this interesting article on how you are one of the 2.

Fear of abandonment stems back from a lack of close emotional contact from childhood. So they will be clingy,needy in relationships.

Fear of entrapment stems from to much attention as a child from your parents. They will want space and feel intruded upon, withdraw from relationships.

So what happens this is what you call a push/pull relationship. One tries to get close while the other tries to get away....

I had heard of push pull but never really had it spelled out as fear of entrapment/abandonment.

What are some thoughts on this?

I know that I fall under the category of fear of abandonment which is why I was needy / clingy in the relationship.

I also had heard of the pursuer vs distancer as well. So i guess the abandonment would fall under pursuer and the distancer would be the fear of entrapment person.


Thoughts?

[MMM12]

This makes sense. It seems that ones attachment style can change too. I dated a guy for a year that was super clingy and I was more of the distancer. I have sense changed to the fear of abandonment style. Or maybe I just didn't fear abandonment bc that guy was so clingy. 😁 Interesting to think about

[bubbs16]

i believe that it can change as well. When i met my w she was the chaser/pursuer . She was clingy and needy I wasn't. Then over the years it switched.

[Adam04]

I'm no Brainiac to know much about the fears from your family of origin but couldn't there be some type of balance between those two and even then, there's got to be a lot of gray areas right? Like the person learns and changes.

I've seen a lot of immature ones with 2x codependent people to 2x domineering people. Seen plenty of bullheaded people arguing back and forth(wouldn't know who to classify as the runner or clingy person in these relationships)

I've seen these relationships below:

alpha/alpha

alpha/beta

beta/beta

codependent/narcissistic

codependent/codependent

whole/whole

broken/broken

whole/broken

Stage 5 clinger or 100 M running champ:

Two key things expressed in DR are communication and conflict resolution. Personality types can play a huge role in how people communicate and resolve issues. Still, whether it comes naturally to some who are in touch or its a struggle day to day, if both parties know the keys to successful marriage lie in these two things, and they work towards that goal, I can't imagine why the labels would matter too much.