This is the time of year that is extremely difficult. No way around that fact.
So, I just wanted to share a few thoughts.
Your spouse will act in one of two ways. They will either seem as if they are moving closer or they will seem to be running faster away.
Though your inclination will initially be to try and hang onto to them...don't do it.
Stay on your path.
You see, during the holidays, they may take a pause to reflect. And sometimes they may, for a moment, get scared. They may be thinking they are making a mistake.
They may say some things or do some things that give you pause. They will feel you out...see where you are at. Or they will become even more steadfast in their decision.
Doesnt matter...Stay on your path.
Trust me, they are watching. But you don't care because you are going to make the most of this holiday season for you and yours. You are going to show strength and honor and joy.
The reason is...because you are on an amazing journey of self discovery. You have been given this wonderful opportunity for change and growth.
So, leave them to their ghosts and issues and all the rest.
Thank you, uRworthy, we all need this reminder right now. I have seen temp checks from WH and he also has been making frequent trips to see OW. Our WAS doesn’t serve our best interest anymore, the farther we keep them at this time the better it is for all our mental health
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
What a timely and well put reminder! Thank you for that!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
Hi Burne. It is difficult when there is zero contact...but it can also be a blessing. You are watching them for signs. You can continue on your path.
I think the holidays affect them as they do us. Reflection, fear, uncertainty.
If they choose to be more resolute in their decisions during the holiday...it is due to fear usually. They think they do not want what they had before. They reflect on what they perceive is their unhappiness...us...and they run faster.
But of course we know, their unhappiness lies within them. But it is far easier for them to blame us.
I know that you not hearing anything at all can be very hard for you. But you have no idea what is going on in their heads and trust me...you do not want to know what's up in there.
You keep working on you. If your spouse looks your way...let them see strength and courage...not for them, though, but for you.
