Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think I was being tested. It's funny that I failed. Lmao
Many years ago I bought my wife a tight tank top with only one specific purpose. It's a law enforcement shirt with my badge number. She could never wear it in public due to it being pro-law enforcement, it tells everyone she is mine and her girls would be in danger of popping out. She has worn it for me a couple times over the years. Although I see it in the closet almost daily, she hasn't worn it in over a year.
Today I'm out back working on the yard with our daughter. I hear my wife call out for our daughter. I turn around and my wife is wearing the shirt. She tells our daughter to come in for a nap. I mention how much I love the shirt. She seemed annoyed. I laughed in my head thinking she just tested me and I just bit. Oh well. I do love the shirt.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Feeling frustrated this morning. Had a dream of W telling me she had filled out all the divorce paperwork. Just a dream but why am I dreaming about this.
Darn Facebook showed me a memory from 7 years ago. Engagement photos!
Holding the line today.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
she may not have even thought twice about putting that shirt on, and maybe she knew what she was doing - you know her better than I.
I've had some pretty crappy dreams myself, so I feel your pain there.
As for Facebook...stay off of it! I thought you didn't have time to read the book? But you have time for Facebook to gut punch you with marriage memories?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
I'm going to have to take your advice and stay off facebook. It's easier to jump on the phone then to break out the book with a full house.
Having an urge to confront wife and just be like "Hey, are we gonna work on us or not." $hit or get off the pot. Just having some depressed time. My physical and emotional needs are starving. Need to pick myself up.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Well, I've become addicted to pulling weeds in my yard. I've been working on my wood projects, photos and yard work. Daughter and I pulled crabgrass and reseeded the bare patches. The grass is growing back nicely. So I started the front yard. I catch myself walking around the front yard looking for weeds with my 3 yr old. She now knows how to spot them in the lawn. Lol
Was watching football and baseball off and on today. Was watching the end of the Dodger brave game with the whole family. After the finish, I go get daughter ready for bed. W gets into bed and starts her phone routine. As I tuck D into bed, I took a deep breath. I didn't even realize I did it. W sighs too. I smiled and I guess smirked. She asks "what?" I told her that I love this routine of putting D to bed. I don't care about being a roommate. I said goodnight and went to lock up the house and finish up in the office.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
Had some daycare issues this morning. W and I were trying to figure out what we are going to do for the week's daycare coverage. We were expecting next week being babysitters vacation and had it covered. Found out the vacation is this week.
During the confusion, W said she was positive the sitter was going to be off next week because her trip was supposed to be this week. (College reunion). I asked what happened to the trip and she replied: "I canceled it.". I said sorry to hear that, I knew you were looking forward to it.
Since I took the morning off since she had morning appointments and I have afternoon appointments, I sat back in bed with D. Wife leaned over to kiss D goodbye and immediately looked up at me as she continued to lean in and said bye. She hasn't been able to hold eye contact with me for some time but she did this morning. I leaned towards her and gave her a peck on the lips and said goodbye.
I know I messed up last night and now she is just accommodating me. So I know I took a few steps back last night.
Well, at least I will have a couple days off this week to read the book while she is at work.
I've been praying non-stop the last couple of days. Trying to get past this rough patch.
Me 45 W 40 Step Son16 D 3 1/2 M 7 yrs Sept 1st yrs together 10 Living together 06/18/18 ILYBNILWY 8/21/18 W looking for housing.
