Emotions are high early on but over time they subside and both of you will get into rythym. Eventually you just won't care about as much or read into anything the more detached you get.
I just sent my XW an email about my D and she responded by saying "Coolio". 1 yr ago I would be all over it. What does it mean? Is she in a good mood? Why is she in a good mood? I mean she responded is that a good sign? What does it all mean??????
Eventually you just don't care......you start to move on with your own life. You accept that spending time wondering about hers and what she is doing is just a waste of your time.
I just thought I would already be at that point already.
if her goal was to have me bothered by mentioning her vacation with OM, and going away with "The Best Company". It worked. I wont be letting her know it worked but it did.
I decided rather than "Ignoring" the unblocks, i went ahead and blocked her on my social media stuff. I may honestly delete them all. I wanted to to even let on that i had noticed that she had unblocked me, but its safer for me this way. I wont inadvertently come across anything. I have to choose to go unblock, which will be enough time to give me pause and make the think twice about doing it, so i wont.
Was that the right move??
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
I am not a big social media person so it never bothered me. My XW has an instagram account but I have not looked at it once since we split. If you can restrain yourself from looking then keep as is. If you will always be tempted and you can't resist then delete.
You have to get to the point to where you are so sick of her on the inside that it masks her physical beauty. My XW got a boob job 2 months ago.........I have never once given her the satisfaction of even looking. Eventually you just make the shift.
I am trying to find a place where i can be happy alone. Ive dealt with bad breakups before, and it took a while to recover before too. Obv not at this magnitude, but i have issues being "Alone" I need to work on that.
I cannot wait for that apathy. i need it so bad.
I cant wait to go get S3. I miss him.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
All I can tell you is that it's a process..........I would also agree with you about working on being ok with being Alone. I read something once that essentially said that before you date anyone or enter into a serious relationship with anyone that you need to be perfectly fine being alone by yourself.
OrangeK, I think most of us struggle with being alone. Especially after you started a life with someone else and had a partner by your side and suddenly you're just alone. It's miserable. Sure you can have hobbies and go out and do stuff but it's not the same as having your loved one next to you in bed everything and waking up to that person's smile each morning and talking about all of your thoughts and feelings without feeling judged because your spouse knows you better than anyone else on the planet. To lose your spouse is so devastating. You sound like you truly loved your wife and you valued your marriage. You are a good guy. It's really a shame this happened to you. It seems like any contact you have with your wife and any pictures you see of her trigger so many emotions that you can't predict. Perhaps a go-between person would help. I feel like that's what I'll have to do if I get divorced. I want my husband to disappear off the face of the earth if we divorce so I stop thinking about him. Perhaps as Joseph9 says you get to a point where you don't care but in the mean time there needs to be a strategy where you help yourself along. It's cruel and confusing when your wife sends friendly and bubbly messages one day and you see her driving past with OM the next day. I hope after the divorce you can find what works best for you and enjoy the freedom - once you're divorced you really can move on when you're ready and find someone new. You're young. That's still the best thing in your case. You still have a bright future ahead of you.
