It's me. Please don't use my old name. When all is said and done I'll merge the threads together. I really am fascinated by this process and would love to leave some signposts for others.
Married a long time (well over 20 years now). Been in MLC-land a long time (8 years at least, over 2 from the big BD).
The MLCer is in big time withdrawal. The MLCer is poking at me in a very subtle way, trying to anchor check me (sorry, no one there). The MLCer can no longer mess with money (it's always a bummer when you do what you keep threatening and you are the only one affected negatively by it). The MLCer is still stalling. The kids and I are doing great.
I've got you covered and will put in a request to release you from moderation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Should have said the particular form of communication the MLCer uses with the children has continued, almost daily, but there are zero efforts to see them. It is an oddity for sure. Will respond to me for emergencies but will not acknowledge housekeeping matters, even court-required, and does not initiate any communication. I have personally not seen the MCLer in about a year.
I think they go through cycles of engaging and not. I hope the kids are managing the emotional issues around having to deal with a parent who isn't on the same planet as they are.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think the kids have handled things swimmingly. There are some cracks for sure, but I am grateful for those because they prove to me that the kids aren’t just faking where they are. Of course there is damage, but it is the kind that builds character and gives them something to overcome. Scrappy is a quality I’ve always been blessed to have myself.
Yes, your kids will follow your lead. Glad they are doing so well!
Thanks for the advice you gave me. It's great to have you here again.
How are you doing? Are you taking good care of yourself?
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
I am doing well. I am probably the rare bird that felt relieved by the filing, even though it has gone absolutely nowhere. I think the lesson I was supposed to learn in all of this was patience and that it is ok to just float.
I hope your H is beginning to burn himself out with all of his shenanigans in short order.
