W invites me over for breakfast text. Haven’t responded yet. She says since you picked up D3 today and are coming to get her tomorrow I’ll make pancakes coffee sausage and fruit and you can come over for breakfast. I can say thank you that’s nice of you but I have some work to do in the morning and I’ll just pick D3 up? Or go and be pleasant?
Since my normal reaction would be yea I’d love that I think I should follow my intuition and say no.
Advice appreciated!
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Be unavailable. Change it up. You have lots of sh#t to do that doesn't involve her.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
I said - That's nice of you thank you. I'll see how I feel in the morning but I have some work to do and may just pick Ariel up and get to the gym. Hope you guys have a nice night. Then she mentioned our dog and some medicine for him l said I hope he’s ok and offered to split the cost.
I want to explain myself but even writing it here I know that’s the wrong move. I’m not just trying to be her friend or gay friend as Sandi has said... my instincts are to say something like that to her.
But just let consistent actions speak, right? Don’t hang out with her, let her miss me don’t be available. I just wonder about if / when we should spend time. Is it if / when she wants to date or Not unless she says she wants to work on the marriage?
Typing it out here really helps... I think it would be when she chooses to work on us. And until then dB, detach, gal, 180s
Thanks to all who have chimed in on my sitch.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
My wife told me twice last month she wanted "to try". I gave in quickly, didn't push hard to verify, and let her slide. It was nice having her home for 11 nights.
If she hasn't filed, I'd not "date" her. There needs to be some tough discussions. Not all tough all the time, but you're not going to pick up where you left off.
Anyways, I think you're getting ahead of yourself. When is the last time you told her "NO" to an invite? MWD says to not accept all invitations.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
I don’t think I’ve ever said no to an invitation. But I will tomorrow.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
W texts me at 1230AM. Ive been up with D3 all night again. Havent slept yet. The earlier you can come tomorrow the better. I almost locked her out of my bedroom I cant take it anymore.
Im not going to text her until the morning and I just want to validate and say how that must have been a rough night Ill be there to pick her up as soon as I can.
Its so easy for me to see how much better our lives would be together. But I guess she doesnt see it or just thinks of how it was in the MR before... still think back to the quality of life I had when we were together. How great of a wife she was in many ways. If we could get back to growing together it would be great... but so far off seems like a pipedream.
Thanks all for the advice on our interactions. Hoping to play my cards right consistently moving forward.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
But just let consistent actions speak, right? Don’t hang out with her, let her miss me don’t be available. I just wonder about if / when we should spend time. Is it if / when she wants to date or Not unless she says she wants to work on the marriage?
You will know. It will be obvious and you won't miss the signs. But yes, GAL to the point where when you aren't with D3 you are BUSY BUSY BUSY. W invites you over for dinner, you are busy. No details. Don't tell her what you are doing. Even if she asks play coy. Mystery, wonder, curiosity are your friends.
Also, Did, be careful with all of this. Your W has more incentive to play nice and throw you 'keep him attached' bones. It is called $2325/month. And while the agreement was temporary, she probably has designs on nicing you, and giving you false hope, into extending it. I know the request is coming. Has she done anything to improve her self-sufficiency since she got her own place? There is an old saying, "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?" Your $2325/month is free milk. What is she doing in order to buy the cow?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
W just texts me- are you dating someone? I have been on a few dates but I’m not dating anyone. Response...???
Also took a look at her phone which is a mistake but I saw she is getting messages from my business Facebook. Time to change the passwords. But it seems someone is interested.
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Thinking of saying ha, interested huh ? Give it a little time first
H: 33 W:32 M: 5 T: 8 D: 4 BD: 6/2017 MO: 6/2017 House sold: 6/28/18 W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18 Paying $ support since 7/18. Physical Reconnect- 10/18 W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
